Gosh is this really happening to me?

"I'll come clean.

I've spent the entire day trying to distract myself by thinking of every other possible thing, but it always seems to come back to you, and that night. 

I feel dirty, in the perverted sense. It's crazy. I catch myself revisiting the memories, picturing each and every detail that I can, and secretly wishing that I could go back to them. If I went back there now, with this current state of mind, I don't know how much dominoes pizza I'd eat. I didn't think I'd be such a person to have these kind of thoughts but... apparently I do. 

I've always wanted something from you, but I never knew it would be something like this. They say you only know the value of a moment, when the moment has become a memory. Now, this memory has developed into a strong urge and impulse it's driving me nuts. 

The reality has struck me, and struck me hard. 

I want you. I want you really, really badly. 

I want to caress your face as I'm staring into your eyes, and attack your lips with mine. I want to take off your earrings, so I can return the favor and leave marks on your ears as well. I want to hold you so tight, that I feel every inch of your body. I want to pin you down on the ground, or against a wall, and use my five senses to match all five of yours. I want to do things to you that I never thought I was capable of even thinking of... 

These kind of thoughts just keep repeating itself in my head, like a song with the same verse playing over and over again. Every time I close my eyes, I start to imagine. 

This is terrifying. 

This isn't like me at all.

Yet, this is a part of me... right? "