Dear jerk, You knew in the first place it wouldnt work out with her. You are older than her. Arent you mature enough to know these things? And yet you get into a rl with her. You know girls have weak hearts. Fragile hearts. But our hearts, Are not for you to play with, and break whenever you feel like it. You jerk. You caused her pain. You made her cry. If Harry Potter makes her cry, so be it. But for her to cry over you? Youre not worth it. Screw you. Now that I think of how much she mentioned you to me, how she ll start getting excited, how her voice would go faster just by the thought of you, how she d scramble to get her phone when your name appeared on the popup screen... I just feel like punching you more. Ive heard so much, yet I dont know how the hell youre like in real life. I would kick you if i could. Thankfully, this girl is strong. She got over it fast. Im proud of her. I hope she ll stay strong 24/7. But I dont know if she s hiding anything. And if she is, it s your fault, you know? Oh. And she skipped lunch because of you. So much power you have to have been able to take away her appetite. But sometimes, I cant understand you either. You knew it wouldnt work out... But why still get involved in it? Her smses to me nowadays... They all have some new story to tell. And theyre not happy stories, you know? Maybe it s just me, but Im seeing a fail attempt at her trying to be happy sometimes. Guys like you screw up our lives. And hey, if youre reading it, this girl, im sorry if it sounds like im doing some apology shit message for someone who you know who just died... well, it s not. Some things i have to spit out, and this is one of it. stay strong, girl. you go blaze that trail and burn him in the process.

puh puh pie-eeyai-eeyai

there are 3 things that keep me going now.


1. family.


2. friends. 2 of them, who will always be there for me as long as our rl doesnt fade away.


3. my theory.





-twofourfive


I have a theory.


Came up with it in P5.


So far, there hasnt been any happening to prove my theory wrong.


I tried explaining my theory to you but you dont get it.


Good for you that you dont, because you may get demoralised.


But a person like you...


Neh. I dont know if getting demoralised actually exists in your dictionary.





-oneeightsix

istilllikeyouimsuchanasshole.
eeyer.
im such a wimp.
i feel like distancing myself from the world; from everyone sometimes.
if only there was a place, a world, where i can walk alone.
who wants to care about other f*cking humans?
but we have to.

yuuki o misetsukete mo tsuyogatte mo 勇気を見せつけても　強がっても
hitori de wa ikirarenai
　一人では生きられない

These lines, in the Gundam 00 ending song 'Friends' by Stephanie. They mean this:

Even if you show courage and pretend to be strong
You can’t live all by yourself

yeah.

-threeninetwelve

hey, for this, who knows?


from my theory, there s still a small chance that...


[complete the sentence yourself]





-foursevenzero

you know, technically i dont have to worry about what you think.


you think she s treating you with preference but there are things shes being doing that you dont know about ;)




-sixsevensix
i cant believe i worry about how you would feel lol.


afterall, how the hell are you treating me now?


-sevensixseven
again, i believe that what goes around comes around.


you.


you over there,


will get it right back in your face one day.

like this.

PIAK.

-sevensevenseven

i think you didnt notice

but when we were there that day

his eyes never flickered in your direction


-fivetwoone

but oh


who cares


even if i keep on saying


i want to die,


i know i wont end up dying anyway.


it takes courage to commit suicide.


courage is something i dont have.


so


im just gonna live on.


-


it s just tiring to do so.


-





LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: Christal
Date: 31 Jan 97
Current location: earth.


Hair colour: bullack

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
Your fear: discovering things that were never meant to be discovered//being lied to.
Your dream of the perfect date: dk.
Goals you'd like to achieve: happiness.



LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
Your thoughts first waking up: 5 more minutesss... -goes back to sleep-

Your best physical feature: R said my eyes are nice but personally i dont think i have a good physical feature.

Your bed time: hah. over 1 am.
Your most missed memory: everything that has passed by me; everything that is a memory.

LAYER 4: YOUR PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: how does BK taste like again?

Single or Group Dates: neutral.
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Chocolate or Vanilla: cho-co-late :>
Cappuccino or Coffee: cuppa.


LAYER 5: DO YOU.
Smoke: no
Cuss: sometimes.
Take showers: duh.

Have a crush: no a crush is a trivial thing i dont think this is trivial kind of. (paisei pris i got same ans as you XD)
Believe in yourself: ...depends
Believe what goes around comes around: said it before.

Believe everything happens for a reason: doesnt it
Think you’re a health freak: haha sometimes but it s meant to irritate people.

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST MONTH.
Gone to the mall: yes
Been on stage: nope
Eaten sushi: yep.
Been hurt: oh this? all the time.
Dyed your hair: nope.

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER.
Played a stripping game: eugh no LOL
Kissed the same sex: idk how to kiss. srs.
Got beaten up: no
Changed who you were to fit in: i dont think so lol

LAYER 8: GETTING OLD.
Age you’re hoping to be married by: dont know, time will tell
Number of kids you’re planning on having: can i have a cat instead?

LAYER 9: IN A GUY.
Best eye color: if youre talking about human colours, brown/grey would be best.
Hair color: as long as it fits the dude, it s fine.
Short or long hair: short la LOL(tomoe s the only exception XD)

Fat or fit: preferably fit. but if i happen to like a fat guy, i have nothing to say because i ll like him the way he is.

Looks or personality: bothhhhh

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
1 MINUTE AGO: yawning

1 HOUR AGO: yawning
1 WEEK AGO: yawning. (dont look at me like that im tired all the time =o=)

1 YEAR AGO: if im not doing anything else other than breathing, im yawning. and thinking.

LAYER 11:
I FEEL: tired. suddenly happy but mostly... sad? idk. confused. weird. sick.

I HATE: MATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATHMATH
I HIDE: feelings/my illegal savings xD
I NEED: you. sleeeeep.

I LOVE: you. cats? lol cheesy much o..o

-kamineko

rasetsu to mukuo!

i kinda know why youre still doing it actually.

it s called insecurity.

cover 2!

okay heres mai 2nd recording, the weirdasser cover as compared to my first one o..o
the quality isnt so good but as compensation i kinda did a little pict slideshow.
some parts are sung better than others =..=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKyUTYqVNN8

it s a weird cover, so i dont know whther to say enjoy but oh well.
-
dam tired.
still rushing to complete overdue march holiday hwk.
shall resume now.
today was awfully weird and terrorising on the whole.


-kamineko

um
okay
this is weird.
it s my first time.
i did a fail just be friends cover.
do check it out.
i was bored.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN0skvDij10

anyone care to do a nico nico chorus with me?
it s quite fun actually.
other than this i did another version but that s alot of try an error singing.
i ll upload when i get the time lol.
it makes me laugh when i hear the other version.

and i kinda did a song for japan
im just wondering if i ll actually activate the idea.
and post it on youtube.
as a public video.
it s a song, and it follows the tune of jbf.
so the starting's like this:

Help Japan,
All we gotta do help Japan,
It s time to realise,
Help Japan
All we gotta do
Help Japan
Help Japan
Help Japan.


---
im trying to figure out the rest of the lyrics. JBF is a long song, and replacing all the jap lyrics with english ones with relevance to japan's situation right now is kinda hard.
feel free to help ;3

kay. it s 4:08 a.m. in the morning and i gotta get some shut-eye.


-kamineko

Hax.

"It s like playing chess. "
"You make a move, and i make one too."
I exhaled.
"Like a dance."
"Yeah."
"Checkmate."
"Ass."
"Lol. Yeah."
Thunk.
"I think youre cornered."
"I am."
Silence as i pondered my next move.
"I wake up and everything's okay for awhile. Then 5 seconds later the world sinks back in."
"And you feel sick."
"Yeah."
Clunk.
"Dont vomit here."
"Im not that demented."
He got up, leaned over the chessboard, accidentally knocked down his own King and Master Chief counter(he named it) and patted my head. And purposely hit it really hard on the last pat.
"Ow."
"Your 'ow' no feeling one."
"Then? You want me drama issit."

Strange sensation.
Clunk.
He reset his master chief counter but left his king face-down on the board.
"Youre probably like that now."
"Huh?"
He nodded towards the king counter, looked back up at me and down at the board again.
"Yep. Definitely lol."
I stared at the patch of light that reflected off the king piece.
"Doood."
I suddenly got reminded of xiao yu.

Twang.
Twingle.
Ting.
Fripple frip frip.
Wind blew into the room, playing around with the wind chimes.
I glanced at the clock on the wall.
Tick.
A pause.
Tock.
2 seconds of my life gone.
"You should treasure your life more."
"Dood. Psychic. I was just thinking about lives. Life. Lives. I dunno."
"Yeah."
There is another wave of silence as I get up.
"Gtg."
"Wait."
"Dood. Im late le la."
He ran to the kitchen.
Fwing!
Thonk.
He thrust the fridge door close and came running back
"Na. Eat."
"Who you sia."
"This is sparta."
He ripped the sweet wrapper off.
"Doood seriously what is that."
"Hokkaido milk sweet."
"Japan?? Got radioacti-"
He took the sweet in his fingers and stuffed it into my mouth.
"Made in China. Dont worry."
"Walao."
"And dont think so much."
"Walao."
"And stop saying walao."
"Walao."
"Sian la you."
He pulled the door open for me.
"Siam."
"Walao. Okay. Bye."
"Bye. Stay away from the curry cat."
"Yala. I not so despo touch cats can. And next time wash your hands before deciding to stuff things into my mouth with them."
"Tsk. Bye."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"Stop replying."
"Okay. Bye."
---
Inside the lift, I breathed in deeply.
Ive always found lift smells calming.
Depends on what kind of lift smells though.
Sometimes it smells like pee.
That s not calming.
-
Beep beep. Beep beep.
The lift doors slipped open.
Curry cat sat, hunched, against the wall near the mosaic-tiled benches.
Her tail was the usual poofball at the tip.
She watched me with hazy green eyes as I walked past.
"Maoww," I said, tentatively.
Her ear twitched, followed by her black paw.
But she didnt turn to look at me.
I followed her gaze.
Staring to her left, she gazed at something I couldnt make out.
Cats are known to be able to see what human eyes cannot.
I wonder what it was that got her attention.

a bit addicted to chinese songs lately.
haha yeah something's wrong with me.
but isnt it always like that?

i dont know whether to call it psychicness(or however you spell it, idc) or fate or intuition but i stabbed myself with my own weirdass pyschicness/ large amount of fate/intuition.

so half the muleshit is on me.
i want to do this.
but i cant.
i want to do that.
but i cant.
yadadadada.

pooooot.

ehhhh youre right.
she s clearly aware that what shes doing is...yeah... to me but she s still doing it o:
guess she doesnt care o:
oh well.
---

lol haha remem on sat we were like:

you: he doesnt like cats.
***poot~***
me: did you just fart?
you: yes i did.
me: okay. he should like cats.

IT WAS EPICCCC.
CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT TEASE YOU MORE XD

and then the convo with the coffee shop aunty was also dam fail.

you: ni you mei you ce suo?
aunty: you. wo men you chao fan chao mian chao guo tiao.
XD
want to type in chinese but my language button seems to have vanished o:

sigh going to see her again soon lol. rather see you instead. XD


-kamineko

it s cold outside.

i squished this thing and didnt realise it was a fly.
wiped my finger across my com screen and felt slime.
closer inspection took place and i realised it was a fly.
just like that, we can take lives away
if you think about it
it s kinda sad.
no matter how small
it s still a life.
and i didnt know i killed something.
i didnt mean to.
i just thought it was dust on my screen.

dont worry, im not going emo after killing a fly.
probably sounds like some life philosophy of a fly thing.
hais.
oh well.

-kamineko

.i realise i laspe back .
.sometimes .

,but most of the time ,

.im still missing .

,dont wanna lose the old me ,
,but i may ,

,i might,

.maybe even tonight.

,but ive this feeling that ,

,once it s gone ,

.it wont come back.

.holds true for many things .

-

-

-

"it s pessimism."

"no, it s realism."

glad you said that lol haha.

it s a good reply.

-

-

-

we draw many lines.

lines for graphs.

lines for art projects.

lines between people.

lines between reality and fantasy.

sometimes it feels as if we draw with a blunt pencil.

the lines are fuzzy.

not defined.

but slowly, we refine those lines

and there is our split between this and that.

lines were never easy.

were they descibed as dots that walked?

i believe this is a meme thingy.

i'm backkkkk....
and now life's the usual drone again.
oh well.
ripped the following off pris' blog.
---- ---- ---- ----

1) ten things you want to say to ten different people (ive included what i wanna say to some things/situations though)

1. why are you so obsessed with sand.

2. im probably not that good to qualify huh.

3. make a bento for me D:

4. cant believe it. has been a disgusting while.

5. youre a liar who still acts as if everything is okay and youve never lied to me before. let me just tell you that this world has eyes. i have eyes too. and i have a brain that enables me to think. thanks alot.

7. thank you and you for being so nice. but to you, the niceness had motives. but im still gonna thank you because i fell for it. but to you, it was just plain nice with no frills. it s been awhile since i had no frills treatment. so here is my sincerest thanks.

8. can you not be so emo? i know youre saying 'look whos talking' but seriously.

9. grudge.

10. screw you for this shit.

2) nine things about yourself

1. im a bookaholic
2. i love catssss
3. ive liked 3 guys. full-blown.
4. i long for a true friend in where i am currently, but given what i see, it seems impossible.
5. i think too much
6. everytime i go on school trips overseas, i find myself going to china.
7. ive always wanted to excel in music, dance and games but that seems strange coming from me.
8. ever since secondary school, i enjoy being alone more. it s a strange feeling. but if i can find a really good friend here that i can connect to, i rather not be loner.
9. i want to laugh good laughs but i find it hard.

3) eight ways to win your heart

1. meet me in an interesting way(optional LOL)
2. be nice. and honest when i ask for opinions/whenever honesty should apply.
3. have a side that others find weird but i find really cute.
4. tolerate my obsession with cats/jap schtuff etc.
5. be romantic on unexpected occasions. (yes i know it s cliche but it s really sweet. and when you think about the effort the person has put in to plan it no matter how small.)
6. have patience for me cause i like to do things slowly sometimes depending on what im doing.
7. tolerate my dumbness. im bad at getting jokes. that s an example.
8. like me


4) seven things that cross your mind a lot

1. haiz.
2. hais.
3. sigh.
4. geez.
5. how do this math question ah
6. dam im gonna fail
7. do you or have you ever?

5) six things you wish you'd never done

1. liked him. yeah you know.
2. let myself get sucky at math.
3. cared about others' feelings.
4. confessed.
5. be all against you when i found out(keyword to this person: A1). it was a pointless waste of time and im sorry.
6. did that-which-i-cannot-say.

6) five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1. grandma
2. aunt
3. prisss
4. lourdehseyhy
5. samuel
(esp. 3,4,5 for constantly tolerating my verbal diarrhoea)

7) four turn offs

1. smoker.s
2. people who sit there, look sick, and not do anything about it.
3. friends that change according to the weather.
4. overly-boastful people.

8) three turn ons

1. smiles/laughter.
2. awkwardness before/after situations or actions.
3. nice hair/no perfume(i like fruity scents though. no others). long[or at least nice] fingers(?)
^-^

9) two smileys that describe your life now

1. ):
2. =..=

10) one confession
geez.
confessions always sound like a biggy.
but currently i dont have any confession i can afford to state. not that i can think of any to make anyway.
----

k thats about all fer naow.
yunnan catszxc are really cute.
hey that can be a confession lol okay shant be lame.


-kamineko