ahahha thanks im doing fine(to the person who typed the last sentence of her blog post to me ;3)
i suddenly remembered one Sat night after tuition pris and i went to eat mos burger(chen xi's influence =o=).
then we were talking about our art teachers.
i was tellin pris about how silly mr seet was one particular afternoon, but i referred to him as 'our art teacher' and not by his name.
then pris talked about her art teacher, but not by his name either.
after awhile of spazzing over our silly art teachers i was like:
"eh whats your art teacher's name ah?"
"his name? mr leet."
"EH OMG MY ART CHER IS MR SEET"
"LOL WTF"
what so now art teachers will have surnames that end with -eet?
mr seet and mr leet.
mr leet and mr seet.
seetleet leetseet.
eeyer.
why always so coincidental huh.
today during MTL intensive cher ting and i had like this... heart-to-heart talk. it was really strange lol cher ting isnt well... that kinda person to have emo talks and be serious and all but it happenned. she told me quite a bit i guess... when isabelle g. hovered by and was obviously eavesdropping CT stopped. isabelle was like "eh continue la". then CT was like "no." in her firm way. after isabelle left CT continued her piece.
geez during the convo the look on her face was so diff from the usual cher ting i know.
quite... haunting.
after she finished she just hugged me and patted my head. it was completely unexpected.
idk how people feel so comfortable just suddenly hugging people. but...
well.
sometimes i wonder. does it look like i sticked this post-it on my forehead that says "vomit your problems here"? people can just... after a moment of silence sitting beside me they start telling me about their difficulties.
hell im no counsellor! or is it because they pity me? i dont know whether to feel.. honoured or not that people talk to me about what theyre facing. sometimes im really tired already and people start on about their stuff. you guys do it out of pity right. i dont give good advice anyway.
-
theres one thing i was quite upset over though.
this morning when cher ting saw me she ran towards me, but her foot went into the hole of those drain covers and she sprained her ankle. it got swollen. and she had badminton camp after that.
when we got up to the theatrette to start at our first MTL intensive station, she came to sit beside me instead of the proper two lines as a class. i sat on the chair, she sat on the floor.
she kept blaming me for her new injury.
me: im sorry la who ask you run to me... maybe you shouldnt help me anymore. i have bad luck haha.
cher ting: i know right. they said so too.
i turned around, suddenly serious . "They said so too? who?"
she didnt meet my eye. "nothing."
so.
people do think like that huh. if they said it jokingly then well, im fine but if they didnt...
hais... i ll just drop this matter. i can move around fine by myself anyway, if no one is willing to help.
-
i dont really get my life nowadays.
-
hmm.. i downloaded another 154 stepmania tracks(SPAZZZ) 154 154 154!!! all anime, feel free to play on my com if you want, as long as i dont need the batt for anything important later on. There are amagami SS songs(or issit amigami), and brightdown and yeah plenty of other nice songs and songs that i know(which youll probably know too if youre another jap freak like me XD).
hmm got alot shit this holiday, homework seems to be a avalancheload more than last june.
1). need to recover fast(leg leg leg).
2). go to pageone! i miss the smell of vivo -_-
3). ...
.
..
...
hope in vain that my complexion can improve, wish that one day i can wake up to be prettier.
4). someone give me therapy sessions. as of 2010 ive started to feel inferior to others. now it s just getting worse. sheila if you wanna try go ahead lol lets see how you approach the problem.
5). try to repair all my spiky relationships.
6). forget him totally. afterall, he s just another egoistic guy. if i can get my heart to stop fantasising that he likes me because he very obviously does not, i should be able to. this is the only way i can accomplish 5). but it ll take time.
7). stop 'running away' from wing.
8). 7) was strange LOL.
9). finish holiday homework before school reopens (bullshit sure cannot one)
10). clear up my jungle.
which is actually my cupboard. there are vines growing in there(correction tape drapery lol)
11). sort out all my clothes. still have some cinderella dress shit that i can surprisingly fit into but HELL NO IM NOT GONNA WEAR IT. anyone needs scraps of fabric? i can dump you my old clothes lol.
12). find a good song to do a good cover.
13). try and sleep early.
14). 13) is bullshit.
15). update my blogskin (lazy urgh)
16). ngo// for the guitar though i cant play.
17). pluck a strand of sheila's hair.
18). show lourdes where the hell my house is. feels like i own it to you somehow LOL.
19). happily donate my crutches to an old folks' home.
20) maybe fold roses/lilies for c2. with stems and all, maybe write a small note for everyone. idk if theyll appreciate... no right? afterall i think alot of them can fold flowers anyway ;_; feels a bit stupid, i wanna give something to my class before sec 3.
21). stop being lazy and wash my own shoes.
22). and help my gran sweep the floor on weekdays when my leg recovers.
23). but shit why am i so lazy.
well
.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
man.
i dnot wnnaa go bcak to shocol amonyre tmoorrow lsat day aynawy but trehe are so mnay tihngs i need to clleoct.
myabe i souhld go itno a cmoa and nveer wkae up lol.
Fuol is fiar, fiar is fuol
One nedes to sricafice one's hpapnises for snoemoe esle to be hpapy
yes.
im christal and i dont like facing the truth.
you dont too?
We re on the same boat again and thats how it all came about.
i dnot wnnaa go bcak to shocol amonyre tmoorrow lsat day aynawy but trehe are so mnay tihngs i need to clleoct.
myabe i souhld go itno a cmoa and nveer wkae up lol.
Fuol is fiar, fiar is fuol
One nedes to sricafice one's hpapnises for snoemoe esle to be hpapy
yes.
im christal and i dont like facing the truth.
you dont too?
We re on the same boat again and thats how it all came about.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
to wje.
hey. i wonder how youre doing.
i dunno.
today i just decided to have a look at your fb page.
it isnt moving much at all.
those few new photos you were tagged in, you were always at the corner.
those where you were not, it seemed as if you were always trying to fit in by craning your neck into the picture.
one photo had you sitting on the lap of another girl.
but it looks so... strained.
you werent smiling like the rest were.
it s like you purposely plopped yourself there to look like youre 'in the picture'.
i dont know.
on the account that we were once very close,
please, dont change yourself okay?
it seems as if youre badly trying to fit in.
dont try, please.
you ll just become a stupid fake facade differentiating from who you really, really are.
and one day you ll grow so tired of being someone you arent everyday youll just collaspe from the weight of everything.
be yourself, please.
i appreciate you for who you are and grew close to you because of the real you.
not the fake you.
im sure others can do the same too.
if they cant, theres no point trying to get close to them.
their present clique will only treat you as a new member,
that will never fit in no matter how hard you try.
youll only become their worker,
their runner,
their dog,
for all the dirty work they subconsciously enslave you to do.
i typed a status directing it to you.
but halfway through i just backspaced everything.
we havent talked in months.
but it feels like years.
so what s the point?
conversations after drifting apart wont last long.
we re already like strangers.
i remember that time i went to your house.
your grandma offered us biscuits over packets of soft drinks.
i tried really hard to get things back to what they used to be.
i talked, endlessly, on and on.
asking questions, seeking your opinion, telling you about how my life was getting on.
but you never said much.
you refused to open up
and i know that it ll take me as much effort as i originally did to break down that wall of yours again.
but time wont allow that.
couldnt you have understood?
im sure if you just opened up a little,
youd be able to find that same chord that i struck years back on that day.
id detect it too, and strike it again
then everything would be back to what it was.
we wouldve laughed and talked like there was no tomorrow.
but no,
it didnt exist on that day.
there was only tension and the crackling of the old fan blowing.
you were so silent,
and though i talked,
it felt as if i was only talking to myself.
i didnt want that,
thats why i talked so much to get you to talk.
couldnt you have understood?
i went that far.
me blabbering like ive never blabbered before in the earlier days.
couldnt you have understood?
but alas, the story of distance and time takes its toll.
theres no going back.
we have our own lives to lead,
our own problems to worry about.
i cant take three years just to hit that chord again.
if only youd let me on that day,
things may have been different.
but please, dont change yourself okay?
you remember a certain her who became so different by suddenly immersing herself in K pop and suddenly doing all those cute poses for the camera?
she became a different person
and we could no longer connect with her.
she drifted away,
alone on her log,
while we watched on our log as she went,
and sighed at the new person she seemed to have become.
you and i agreed
that it seemed she was doing so much
just to fit in.
but i dont believe in that. i dont think it ll help.
you dont either, do you?
whats the point in god making us unique?
just for us to change and become like 'all those people'?
i dont even know who the hell youre close to in your school now.
the last person i remember you talking to me about was Sky.
but no,
i felt the restraint.
why are you lying to yourself?
youre not close to her at all.
you said youre close to her
but all you ever told me about
was what Sky and your other friends did together.
"Sky and her"
"Sky and him"
"Sky and they all"
wheres "Sky and you?"
there wasnt a single shit of that.
dont lie to yourself anymore
it never helped things.
i know you wont see this.
youre not from an english-speaking family so you wont read much.
but yeah, all these are heartfelt words from deep down in my heart.
you live so far away now.
wherever you are,
alone at home to spend the lonely weekday afternoons,
away at your parent's home.
i hope you ll be okay.
it only makes it more difficult for me to get to you when youre that far.
if theres a word to describe you now,
id say that word is restraint.
be safe, okay?
it s not easy leading a life without friends whom you can trust and talk to.
as of 2010, i understood that as well.
there are just things you cant tell brothers or adults.
we just drifted apart.
as for P and i,
~ is now the only thing that keeps us together.
if not we probably wouldve gone apart too.
haha.
right P?
so...
stay safe.
be that happy girl i once knew you to be, too.
find that chord,
strike it,
and set it ablaze like how you did before.
hey. i wonder how youre doing.
i dunno.
today i just decided to have a look at your fb page.
it isnt moving much at all.
those few new photos you were tagged in, you were always at the corner.
those where you were not, it seemed as if you were always trying to fit in by craning your neck into the picture.
one photo had you sitting on the lap of another girl.
but it looks so... strained.
you werent smiling like the rest were.
it s like you purposely plopped yourself there to look like youre 'in the picture'.
i dont know.
on the account that we were once very close,
please, dont change yourself okay?
it seems as if youre badly trying to fit in.
dont try, please.
you ll just become a stupid fake facade differentiating from who you really, really are.
and one day you ll grow so tired of being someone you arent everyday youll just collaspe from the weight of everything.
be yourself, please.
i appreciate you for who you are and grew close to you because of the real you.
not the fake you.
im sure others can do the same too.
if they cant, theres no point trying to get close to them.
their present clique will only treat you as a new member,
that will never fit in no matter how hard you try.
youll only become their worker,
their runner,
their dog,
for all the dirty work they subconsciously enslave you to do.
i typed a status directing it to you.
but halfway through i just backspaced everything.
we havent talked in months.
but it feels like years.
so what s the point?
conversations after drifting apart wont last long.
we re already like strangers.
i remember that time i went to your house.
your grandma offered us biscuits over packets of soft drinks.
i tried really hard to get things back to what they used to be.
i talked, endlessly, on and on.
asking questions, seeking your opinion, telling you about how my life was getting on.
but you never said much.
you refused to open up
and i know that it ll take me as much effort as i originally did to break down that wall of yours again.
but time wont allow that.
couldnt you have understood?
im sure if you just opened up a little,
youd be able to find that same chord that i struck years back on that day.
id detect it too, and strike it again
then everything would be back to what it was.
we wouldve laughed and talked like there was no tomorrow.
but no,
it didnt exist on that day.
there was only tension and the crackling of the old fan blowing.
you were so silent,
and though i talked,
it felt as if i was only talking to myself.
i didnt want that,
thats why i talked so much to get you to talk.
couldnt you have understood?
i went that far.
me blabbering like ive never blabbered before in the earlier days.
couldnt you have understood?
but alas, the story of distance and time takes its toll.
theres no going back.
we have our own lives to lead,
our own problems to worry about.
i cant take three years just to hit that chord again.
if only youd let me on that day,
things may have been different.
but please, dont change yourself okay?
you remember a certain her who became so different by suddenly immersing herself in K pop and suddenly doing all those cute poses for the camera?
she became a different person
and we could no longer connect with her.
she drifted away,
alone on her log,
while we watched on our log as she went,
and sighed at the new person she seemed to have become.
you and i agreed
that it seemed she was doing so much
just to fit in.
but i dont believe in that. i dont think it ll help.
you dont either, do you?
whats the point in god making us unique?
just for us to change and become like 'all those people'?
i dont even know who the hell youre close to in your school now.
the last person i remember you talking to me about was Sky.
but no,
i felt the restraint.
why are you lying to yourself?
youre not close to her at all.
you said youre close to her
but all you ever told me about
was what Sky and your other friends did together.
"Sky and her"
"Sky and him"
"Sky and they all"
wheres "Sky and you?"
there wasnt a single shit of that.
dont lie to yourself anymore
it never helped things.
i know you wont see this.
youre not from an english-speaking family so you wont read much.
but yeah, all these are heartfelt words from deep down in my heart.
you live so far away now.
wherever you are,
alone at home to spend the lonely weekday afternoons,
away at your parent's home.
i hope you ll be okay.
it only makes it more difficult for me to get to you when youre that far.
if theres a word to describe you now,
id say that word is restraint.
be safe, okay?
it s not easy leading a life without friends whom you can trust and talk to.
as of 2010, i understood that as well.
there are just things you cant tell brothers or adults.
we just drifted apart.
as for P and i,
~ is now the only thing that keeps us together.
if not we probably wouldve gone apart too.
haha.
right P?
so...
stay safe.
be that happy girl i once knew you to be, too.
find that chord,
strike it,
and set it ablaze like how you did before.
last night i had a dream. it was super short; i expected something bigger.
afterall, i havent had dreams for a few days LOL maybe it s time to change my skeeping location.
there was this girl, ard my height. She had long hair and was eating at the Subway outlet at tiong plaza at night.
There was a guy ard her height sitting opposite her, eating too. The girl ate something.... meatbally(lol meatbally) and the guy was drinking something. Idk. Very vague.
And that s it.
I fell back into the dull blackness of sleep.
---
i have this urge to go back and read my tagboard- like all the shit ive missed out.
but no that ll probably take eons.
last night i thought of replying you guys all through a blog post instead of doing so in the tagboard but i dont feel like it right now :/
probably cuza the drowsy afternoons.
oh well.
im back to doing more covers. im trying mermaid right now but that s quite high pitched so i may move on to other songs.
kthx bai.
afterall, i havent had dreams for a few days LOL maybe it s time to change my skeeping location.
there was this girl, ard my height. She had long hair and was eating at the Subway outlet at tiong plaza at night.
There was a guy ard her height sitting opposite her, eating too. The girl ate something.... meatbally(lol meatbally) and the guy was drinking something. Idk. Very vague.
And that s it.
I fell back into the dull blackness of sleep.
---
i have this urge to go back and read my tagboard- like all the shit ive missed out.
but no that ll probably take eons.
last night i thought of replying you guys all through a blog post instead of doing so in the tagboard but i dont feel like it right now :/
probably cuza the drowsy afternoons.
oh well.
im back to doing more covers. im trying mermaid right now but that s quite high pitched so i may move on to other songs.
kthx bai.
Monday, May 23, 2011
matryoshka
2:54 a.m. and im uploading my matryoshka cover LOL.
okay. enjoy/hate it whatever.
*yawns*
one day i just may make my covers not unlisted hmm oh well need some courage there but ive seriously heard worse covers...
okay goodnight.
this song was fun to do.
the pigeon that barged into my house.
monday afternoon.
i was suspicious. "A noisy pigeon barging into my house on monday," i said. Nevertheless i hobbled beside sheila and sat down on the sofa.
[lol half-assed drawing]
there was a knock on my door.
i hobbled to open it.
"sheila?"
"ya." without asking me for permission to come in, she barged right past me and chiong-ed to the sofa, leaving me wobbling for balance as she flew past me. "Walao aunty no etiquette sia you."
i shut the door and turned around. Sheila was already on the blue striped sofa with yellow stars
printed on it.
She smiled at me
as I leant against the door.
"Sit down la your leg liddat already still want stand," she shifted to her left to make space for me and patted the sofa beside her.
i was suspicious. "A noisy pigeon barging into my house on monday," i said. Nevertheless i hobbled beside sheila and sat down on the sofa.There was silence for awhile. "What?" i questioned.
Sheila looked at me with the
T_T
expression. I stared at her. Suddenly she was like:
i was like:
"you came all the way to say that?"
"what -all the way down-. three storeys down nia not like i come all the way from pasir ris rite LAWL."
I stared at her like
O..O
She stared at me like
O w O
Then I finally said:
[lol half-assed drawing]"WHYYYY???!!! I COME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE BEG YOU YOUKNOWW..."
" What come all the way down. You yourself say three storeys nia. And not from Pasir Ris."
"Sia la dont be smartass la maple pleasssseeeeee????"
"Dont be noisy pigeon la why you suddenly want maple so bad??"
"Cause' if you maple then i will maple oso then we can maple with wing cause shes bugging me to maple."
"Wing?"
"Ya," sheila nodded.
"What the ffff have you been up to?"
"Tokking to her on your tagboard?"
I stared at her.
"Why you dont read tagboard anyway?" she asked.
"Cause I dont?"
Sheila opened her mouth to speak.
"Andddd dont ask why."
She shut her mouth. "Sia la how you know i gon' ask why."
"Cause' im not dumb?"
"No. Youre psychic."
"Ew no dont say that word again it makes me feel old."
"Psychic."
"Noisy pigeon."
"Psychic."
"Noisy pigeon."
"Psychic."
"Dude get out of my house."
"Eh walao meanie."
There was some silence again.
"Er, so why you dont want maple?"
"Dood, I wasted like a big fat chunk of my June holidays last year mapling like crap and dying like shit in the monster carni-"
"Ah see you want to maple."
I stared at her like
=..=
She stared at me like
O w O
"Dood stop giving me that expression."
"Why? Creepy issit heheheh."
"Ya. You are a pigeon anyway and pigeons have weird expressions so-"
Sheila was like "OII," and kicked my leg.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF SHEILAA!!!!!!!!"
"OH OMG I FORGOT YOUR LEG GOT INJURED AHHGG!!"
---
lol there was alot more lame shit but i wont type it out =..=
sheila honney, i do want to maple. Those stupid old cant-stop-thinking-of-maple genes surfacing up again.
But i dont want to waste so much time mapling omfg killing all those moss snails at the elrin forest and stoning at ludi just to listen to the music... omg i wasted like whole afternoons/nights just doing that.
stop peer pressuring me LOL i may succumb to it =..=
thank god pris and lourdeh dont maple/dont maple anymore so i wont get bugged by them. if not by now i cfm start mapling again le.
oh pris btw ur dark boots are still with my mage LOL.
but well, i did have some good memories playing maple last year.
haha.
i remember meeting weilin and telling her that i liked cornelius through maple LOL.
shes the one who cornelius likes.
she was like " haha i alrd know!"
then i was shit you cornelius why you tell her.
then we talked for quite a bit, as if we were old friends.
pris met wing thru maple too.
i heard alot about karan and vineeth thru pris in maple LOL.
hmm shoulda met them.
i remember that fatass centipede at the shanghai there that was so hard to kill.
i remember walking past the pq place at kerning with all those ppl like "JOIN PQ JOIN PQ JOIN PQ" omg was dam nosiy LOL.
i remember i zapped all the snails with my ice lightning spell thingy, killing a few at one time.
i remember killing chronus-es(? forgot the name)
i remember playing survivor with pris by dodging the mosnters at leafre- hit them once you die LOL
it was dam jin zhang LOLLLOL then she and i kept dying and were like " i wait here you quicky come back!!" haha. we reached all the way to the dragon part and then cannot go le cause theyre flying and fatass so there wasnt a way we could dodge them.
hmm well. i remember after elearn lessons during elearning week straightaway maple LOL. then one day i was mapling with wing then cher ting suddenly pop up at my house there then force me shut down and drag me to her house(and her dog started licking me OMG DAWG CANT YOU SMELL THAT IM A CAT PERSON?!?!) to do home ec.
---
hmm.
okay.
im gonna do a matryoshka cover next.
the amv done with that song was great.
anddd matryoshka doesnt have overly high pitched choruses, which is good.
i wanted to go to school today, but my gran persuaded me not too.
haha if i were still mapling id be mapling all the way.
i want the class to forget me LOL. let my table and chair get dusty, then fastforward the cam with everyone rushing past but my table and chair remains unmoved.
another fragment of my imagination.
oh and i wrote a song. it s called "Burning Down the Line."
dont listen to it, it s just another one of the emo shit i do.
i cant really remember the tune. it s like everytime i sing it the tune changes LOL. hmm if only i took piano lessons then i could really come up with the piano accompaniment fast so i wouldnt forget the tune.
that s it for today~
just wondering, do you guys like long posts or short posts LOL. cause it feels like my posts are like... always long =3=
yours sincerely,
an average teenager
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine~Sit talking up all night~Saying things we havent for awhile, awhile yeah~Smilin but we re close to tears~Even after all these years~We just now got the feeling that we re meeting...~『For the first time.~』
Thursday, May 19, 2011
☠
hmm... put alot of thought into my updated playlist...
i realised my standards for vocaloid songs may be too high on some days, so i lowered the standards =..=
idk how you guys arrange the music on your playlists, but i arrange mine so that each song goes well with the next.
for example i dont clump 3 rockish songs tgt cause the ear gets sick of it faster LOL.
so the songs in my playlist now are all mixed up- those i handpicked with 'high standards' and those i was like just like 'urgh i ll just add this in'.
but i really like the first two songs xD
durg.
im probably just too 'bored'.
urgh stomacheache.
anyway.
ive been watching this anime:
[Denpa Teki Na Kanojo]
it s only 2 episodes long, only about 40+ mins each.
but it s really nice. well for me.
it s quite stressful. and emo.
but the plot twists are good, and i quite like the art style too.
the music goes really well during the stressful periods.
it s more along the mystery/detective side and the main dood has a weird long-ish name, and the main doodet has this stupid fringe that covers her eyes almost 24/7.
i remember i was so pekcek to see her eyes LOL
then when the wind(or something) swept her hair aside i was like
YESSSSssssssssssssss I FINALLY KNOW HOW UR EYES LOOK LIKE
i have a obsession with eyes. and hair. and glitter and wind LOL
ya i abit siao one kthx.
on some days -squints up at the sky-
haha dumb but yes.
aw man shit now i feel like redoing my playlist.
the problem with vocaloid songs is that they tend to get a bit droney with the vocaloid voices.
which is wai i prefur nico nico choruses.
oh i caught myself humming the ludibrium music yesterday afternoon.
shit.
it means my brain is giving me signs that i may start having this bigass urge to maple soon.
this is time to practice self-restraint.
urgh.
im not good at that.
anywayy i did a cover of the ludibrium music.
i well, er, well... um.
hummed it out?
you know those acapella stuff?
yeah i did that.
formed the beat with my own voice and everything.
it sounds kinda deadish to me LOL
unlike the original track which is full of life.
but always dead one, when i sing. the usual.
i guess whats most important is that i enjoyed making it and laughing over my own voice LOL
i really dont know whether i should upload it XD
there are weird groaning and burping-ish sounds LOL
tuhhuh.
okay.
just got another parcel from uncle LT in america.
apparently he lives in this place called Mowry Avenue.
the name gives me weird feelings LOL. Mowry.
mowry. maowry. meowry.
hmm. maybe cause it s cat like.
ug ug ugggg stomachache.
ooh. there goes the telephone.
i realised my standards for vocaloid songs may be too high on some days, so i lowered the standards =..=
idk how you guys arrange the music on your playlists, but i arrange mine so that each song goes well with the next.
for example i dont clump 3 rockish songs tgt cause the ear gets sick of it faster LOL.
so the songs in my playlist now are all mixed up- those i handpicked with 'high standards' and those i was like just like 'urgh i ll just add this in'.
but i really like the first two songs xD
durg.
im probably just too 'bored'.
urgh stomacheache.
anyway.
ive been watching this anime:
[Denpa Teki Na Kanojo]
it s only 2 episodes long, only about 40+ mins each.
but it s really nice. well for me.
it s quite stressful. and emo.
but the plot twists are good, and i quite like the art style too.
the music goes really well during the stressful periods.
it s more along the mystery/detective side and the main dood has a weird long-ish name, and the main doodet has this stupid fringe that covers her eyes almost 24/7.
i remember i was so pekcek to see her eyes LOL
then when the wind(or something) swept her hair aside i was like
YESSSSssssssssssssss I FINALLY KNOW HOW UR EYES LOOK LIKE
i have a obsession with eyes. and hair. and glitter and wind LOL
ya i abit siao one kthx.
on some days -squints up at the sky-
haha dumb but yes.
aw man shit now i feel like redoing my playlist.
the problem with vocaloid songs is that they tend to get a bit droney with the vocaloid voices.
which is wai i prefur nico nico choruses.
oh i caught myself humming the ludibrium music yesterday afternoon.
shit.
it means my brain is giving me signs that i may start having this bigass urge to maple soon.
this is time to practice self-restraint.
urgh.
im not good at that.
anywayy i did a cover of the ludibrium music.
i well, er, well... um.
hummed it out?
you know those acapella stuff?
yeah i did that.
formed the beat with my own voice and everything.
it sounds kinda deadish to me LOL
unlike the original track which is full of life.
but always dead one, when i sing. the usual.
i guess whats most important is that i enjoyed making it and laughing over my own voice LOL
i really dont know whether i should upload it XD
there are weird groaning and burping-ish sounds LOL
tuhhuh.
okay.
just got another parcel from uncle LT in america.
apparently he lives in this place called Mowry Avenue.
the name gives me weird feelings LOL. Mowry.
mowry. maowry. meowry.
hmm. maybe cause it s cat like.
ug ug ugggg stomachache.
ooh. there goes the telephone.
yours sincerely,
an average teenager
an average teenager
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
-my heart thudded dully-
my god i checked my own blog stats.
2 ppl from Japan have came across my blog -spazz didyounihongoiansseemyvocaloidpictsAHAH-
4 from the US,
and 2 from Luxembourg.
where the hell is Luxembourg anyway.
my blog was visited the most in october 2010, with a monthly total of 435 pageviews.
wow. that s some info for me. i bet pris has a shitload more tho.
hmm... nothing much to say today. i just do the usual at home-yaknow, sit ard, think too muc-
OH
OHHH YEAA
i thought of amazing things today.
halfway through i thought i heard sheila screaming upstairs(wtf r u doing you noisy pigeon)
but let s not talk about that.
i thought about how lourdes can play the guitar.
and wing.
priscilla has lessons on the bass.
i can do keyboard, xiaoxiao can do piano.
i imagined us playing as a band LOL
but seriously, it was dam cool!
i imagined us playing at a clubhouse/concert etc.
denise helped us do a rock song by screaming her head off.
chen xi was doing hair flicks AHAH
nadine was on the rock guitar.
cher ting was doing some dance as we played.
pamela(pris' sis) was banging away on the drums.
we all took turns to do vocals, and chen xi did the rap cause shes monotone and raps are mostly monotone XD
haha you cant strangle me chen xi you dont know where i live xD
it was cooool! there were even concert lights!
okay, so you kinda know what goes on in my head when i seem to be thinking.
i dont think about suicide all the time, you bloodsucking leeches(you know who you are)
after that i imagined all of us- my kindergarten friends, pri sch friends, neighbours, sec sch friends, teachers from p sch and sec sch... everyone- in one freaking anime.
it was awesome.
in real life, if i imagine everything as an anime, it doesnt seem so bad.
you know how nice anime sunsets and scenery are.
yea, there were all of those.
and everybody looked good.
haha i sound superficial but it s just my imagination anyway.
we studied in this super big school- and there were piano rooms and drum rooms and so on.
we had those jap-styled classrooms with the nice big airy windows.
there were gym rooms, and we had gym class.
people would loiter along the class corridors during recess, in small groups, talking.
we had out very own band haha
and every once in awhile theyd have concerts you could go to, like in Angel Beats! the GirlsDeMo band.
they would put concert posters up.
we had rows and rows of instant noodle dispenser machines.
the staircases in our school were like the ones in harry potter- they could move.
the only thing i decided to let it remain was our dear rotunda.
for those of you who dont know, the rotunda is a giant circular staircase in crescent.
it s a special place, really.
during sunset the sunlight would flood in, lighting up the rotunda here and there with golden-yellow rays, and you can see the dust flying- it s quite magical.
not to mention people who would actually appear if you talked about them in the rotunda ;)
oh and it echoes.
and when you go down from the top of the rotunda, you can do it really fast, and imagine youre a mage in this long robe just gliding down.
oh, and i made our skirts above knee xD
i had freaking long hair.
lourdes had nice long curlyish hair too XD
i kinda changed everyone s looks here and there.
if, say, you have short hair, i imagined it long.
if you have long hair, i imagine it even longer or short and untied.
it was cool.
xiao yu didnt wear specs in my imagination.
BRANDON WAS SOOO CUTEEE XD
zijie had long straight hair which he tied up at the nape of his neck.
he was tall, but still cute <3
ohh and qian ying TALKED. so did christine. they had nice voices.
and we all had special powers of our own.
some of our science teachers had scienc-ey powers.
our school library was HUGEEE and nice like the one in new town ;D
for LSCEP lessons(our com lessons in crescent), we learnt how to use the vocaloid software and made our own songs.
instead of stupid flash.
denise's song had lots of weird laughing in it.
i made an emo song.
mira did one that was taylor swiftish,
jen min did one full of math formulas. the chorus started with y=mx+c HAHA
lourdes' songs talked about her dreams. those adventures and fighting and caring green eyes.
we learnt how to use sony vegas pro, too, to make those awesomoo anime amvs.
and we watched studio ghibli movies(SPIRITED AWAYYY) as post exam activities, instead of what cultural poop.
and we had karaoke rooms in the school XD
the canteen served pizza,waffles, sushi, ice cream- anything and everything.
the portraits talked, like in harry potter.
for assembly we had more anime-watching, or had performances from japanese bands-screamm!- and all.
after i imagined all that, i developed it further.
i followed different people i knew in their stories, like a cameraman.
as in, i wasnt there- i was the watcher.
you know in animes, you watch the characters go on with their adventures? yeah. that kind of third person view.
you guys were in manga form, of course XD
id imagine you walking in the sunset, and your hair would actually fly in the wind like those in the anime. everyone was elegant and cool.
id imagine you living in a two storey house- like the one in the Girl Who Leapt Through Time. dont worry, i gave you a nice house to live in in my imagination :D
you could rollerskate, and you lived in a nice and peaceful neighbourhood. full of cats heehee. furry ones-cute and friendly-unlike t rex =..=
milk//tea, calico, CH, blueblack, cocoa and yullen were some of the nekos there <3
ohhh and we all spoke japanese WELL+ english. greek was one of the mother tongue languages.
there
was
no
need
to
learn
stupid
chinese.
youd go home, set your school briefcase(yess no heavy schoolbags) on the table.
"Tadaima," youd say when you got back.
Some of you like to be alone at home, so i imagined it that way for you.
Youd do what you want in that beautiful house of yours.
There were mini gardens and mini ponds, with small fountains and koi.
everything was watecolour-ish.
You could call it a perfect world, i guess.
Oh. If i imagined you sad thered be music to go along with it as well LOL
i know youre staring at this like o w o
but it seemed totally natural in my head.
oh. then there were the fighting scenes.
id pair random people up, give them powers id seen before(e.g. the different powers in D grayman, KHR etc) and you guys would fight.
it was soo cool as well!
you know in d gray, when lenalee fought the level 4 akuma at sea and lost her powers?
yea, that place was where i imagined you guys fighting.
everyone was so shoik urghh
sometimes there were group fights- and then there d be a healer(like miranda from dgray).
there were lenalee's power, kanda's, lavi's, yurippe's awesome fighting abilities, naoi's coolness, tenshi's powers, the kind of fighting involving the two gumi s in Mosaik Role, or the nice creepy aura emanating from the cast of kuroshitsuji, the air of the pro samurai fighters from hakuoki.
then id imagine you guys as anime characters in costume, and we d take pictures with that look.
there were those flying sakura petals, snowflakes and all, and some of us had pets. some were magical. sheila, you owned a green slime. i gave mdm kala and mdm kamala a dark axe stump each, and shelly a ribbon pig. zhengtian owned a lupin. mr siow was grendel the really old, and he lived in ellinia. chen xi had a jr boogie, and cher ting had those giant moss snails in the elrin forest thing.
i imagined myself living in ludibrium, cause i loved that place. if there was a ludibrium in real life.... can you imagine that? mrt, seet and mr yip lived in lith harbor. mr tham and mr hairul lived in kerning, cause he s creepy and cool in the same way that kerning is XD lao shi lived in orbis, cause she reminds me of orbis. ms sloan too. mr chin, mr chan and mr chew lived in ellinia, where they all became....
leafy.
i exchanged our personalities. lourdes and i didnt have much difference cause we re on very similar wavelengths. then i exchanged myself with jen min. i became freaking smart and TALL LOL. then i had alina's idc attitude. then i imagined myself as wing, with her boldness and everything.
the most epic was when i imagined denise and i exchanging our personalities.
i became that chaotic laughing hyena, while denise became the emo, think-too-much me who was labelled as quiet.
then i imagined some of you as bruno mars, dragging the piano along in the song Grenade. i imagined mr siow dragging the piano faster than all of us XD then i imagined the whole of C2 in a dragging piano race and it was hilariously dumb and i started smiling to myself LOL
i imagined more of you as pokemon trainers. i imagined alot of you with brock's - . - eyes LOL.
Paean had a shitload of pokeballs in her bag, which she used for juggling. Denise owned that weirdass pokemon which draws on your face when it sings you to sleep(is that jigglypuff??) Lourdes had pikachu, which i got pissed because if you watch/watched pokemon, pikachu is (i quote sheila) FARKING noisy like "pi-ka-chuu" ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
like sheila, the Noisy Pigeon haha in ur face.
then when i imagined us all in the maplestory worl-
you know i better not continue or this post will never be done =..=
but anyway,
ho yeah it was sooooo cool. beautiful. oh god. i cant describe it. but imagination can and really does take you to different dimensions. it takes you to places you cant go; it lets you become people you cant actually be in real life.
in your imagination,
it s your world.
i think too much?
these are some of the things i think of.
great, isnt it?
everyone i know has had some roles in my imagination before.
if that person appeared more on some day in real life, youd also appear more in my imagination.
sometimes it s those who appear less in rl that appear more in my imagination though.
depends.
and now that i cant go to school, i just have more time to
"think more".
maybe if you triedthinking too much imagining more, you wont be bored so often.
if you know me well enough to some extent, you know i never say 'im bored'. but im surrounded by people who say they're bored bored bored oh so bored very often urggh i sometimes find it annoying because i really.dont.see.a.way.to.get.bored.
You just find a way to utilise the free time you have around you.
Sometimes it s good for thinking things through and sorting your thoughts-maybe you had an argument with someone earlier... You can try to think things in their perspective maybe? Because afterall, arguments and fights happen because both parties think they re correct. And no one can be always correct in their whole lives.
But yeah, pride is usually the thing that gets in our way. Pride makes it so hard just to apologise. And I mean apologise AND mean it.
okay, you can get angry at me for the above paragraph with all it s crap LOL that s just christal at work.
oh. i wanna thank mohmoh, alina, tessa, cher ting for dropping by my house to see me, and lourdes and priscilla for wanting to. tbh i dont like guests, but we all make exceptions. if you come, please do call first.
when alina, tessa and CT came i was still sleeping =..=and had to go out to see them with my hair all asdghjkl;
okay. that s all. was a long post, huh.
i have a joke for you guys, but i ll include it in some other post some other day :)
if youve read all the way til here, thanks for reading my bullshit xD
do experiment with your imagination.
2 ppl from Japan have came across my blog -spazz didyounihongoiansseemyvocaloidpictsAHAH-
4 from the US,
and 2 from Luxembourg.
where the hell is Luxembourg anyway.
my blog was visited the most in october 2010, with a monthly total of 435 pageviews.
wow. that s some info for me. i bet pris has a shitload more tho.
hmm... nothing much to say today. i just do the usual at home-yaknow, sit ard, think too muc-
OH
OHHH YEAA
i thought of amazing things today.
halfway through i thought i heard sheila screaming upstairs(wtf r u doing you noisy pigeon)
but let s not talk about that.
i thought about how lourdes can play the guitar.
and wing.
priscilla has lessons on the bass.
i can do keyboard, xiaoxiao can do piano.
i imagined us playing as a band LOL
but seriously, it was dam cool!
i imagined us playing at a clubhouse/concert etc.
denise helped us do a rock song by screaming her head off.
chen xi was doing hair flicks AHAH
nadine was on the rock guitar.
cher ting was doing some dance as we played.
pamela(pris' sis) was banging away on the drums.
we all took turns to do vocals, and chen xi did the rap cause shes monotone and raps are mostly monotone XD
haha you cant strangle me chen xi you dont know where i live xD
it was cooool! there were even concert lights!
okay, so you kinda know what goes on in my head when i seem to be thinking.
i dont think about suicide all the time, you bloodsucking leeches(you know who you are)
after that i imagined all of us- my kindergarten friends, pri sch friends, neighbours, sec sch friends, teachers from p sch and sec sch... everyone- in one freaking anime.
it was awesome.
in real life, if i imagine everything as an anime, it doesnt seem so bad.
you know how nice anime sunsets and scenery are.
yea, there were all of those.
and everybody looked good.
haha i sound superficial but it s just my imagination anyway.
we studied in this super big school- and there were piano rooms and drum rooms and so on.
we had those jap-styled classrooms with the nice big airy windows.
there were gym rooms, and we had gym class.
people would loiter along the class corridors during recess, in small groups, talking.
we had out very own band haha
and every once in awhile theyd have concerts you could go to, like in Angel Beats! the GirlsDeMo band.
they would put concert posters up.
we had rows and rows of instant noodle dispenser machines.
the staircases in our school were like the ones in harry potter- they could move.
the only thing i decided to let it remain was our dear rotunda.
for those of you who dont know, the rotunda is a giant circular staircase in crescent.
it s a special place, really.
during sunset the sunlight would flood in, lighting up the rotunda here and there with golden-yellow rays, and you can see the dust flying- it s quite magical.
not to mention people who would actually appear if you talked about them in the rotunda ;)
oh and it echoes.
and when you go down from the top of the rotunda, you can do it really fast, and imagine youre a mage in this long robe just gliding down.
oh, and i made our skirts above knee xD
i had freaking long hair.
lourdes had nice long curlyish hair too XD
i kinda changed everyone s looks here and there.
if, say, you have short hair, i imagined it long.
if you have long hair, i imagine it even longer or short and untied.
it was cool.
xiao yu didnt wear specs in my imagination.
BRANDON WAS SOOO CUTEEE XD
zijie had long straight hair which he tied up at the nape of his neck.
he was tall, but still cute <3
ohh and qian ying TALKED. so did christine. they had nice voices.
and we all had special powers of our own.
some of our science teachers had scienc-ey powers.
our school library was HUGEEE and nice like the one in new town ;D
for LSCEP lessons(our com lessons in crescent), we learnt how to use the vocaloid software and made our own songs.
instead of stupid flash.
denise's song had lots of weird laughing in it.
i made an emo song.
mira did one that was taylor swiftish,
jen min did one full of math formulas. the chorus started with y=mx+c HAHA
lourdes' songs talked about her dreams. those adventures and fighting and caring green eyes.
we learnt how to use sony vegas pro, too, to make those awesomoo anime amvs.
and we watched studio ghibli movies(SPIRITED AWAYYY) as post exam activities, instead of what cultural poop.
and we had karaoke rooms in the school XD
the canteen served pizza,waffles, sushi, ice cream- anything and everything.
the portraits talked, like in harry potter.
for assembly we had more anime-watching, or had performances from japanese bands-screamm!- and all.
after i imagined all that, i developed it further.
i followed different people i knew in their stories, like a cameraman.
as in, i wasnt there- i was the watcher.
you know in animes, you watch the characters go on with their adventures? yeah. that kind of third person view.
you guys were in manga form, of course XD
id imagine you walking in the sunset, and your hair would actually fly in the wind like those in the anime. everyone was elegant and cool.
id imagine you living in a two storey house- like the one in the Girl Who Leapt Through Time. dont worry, i gave you a nice house to live in in my imagination :D
you could rollerskate, and you lived in a nice and peaceful neighbourhood. full of cats heehee. furry ones-cute and friendly-unlike t rex =..=
milk//tea, calico, CH, blueblack, cocoa and yullen were some of the nekos there <3
ohhh and we all spoke japanese WELL+ english. greek was one of the mother tongue languages.
there
was
no
need
to
learn
stupid
chinese.
youd go home, set your school briefcase(yess no heavy schoolbags) on the table.
"Tadaima," youd say when you got back.
Some of you like to be alone at home, so i imagined it that way for you.
Youd do what you want in that beautiful house of yours.
There were mini gardens and mini ponds, with small fountains and koi.
everything was watecolour-ish.
You could call it a perfect world, i guess.
Oh. If i imagined you sad thered be music to go along with it as well LOL
i know youre staring at this like o w o
but it seemed totally natural in my head.
oh. then there were the fighting scenes.
id pair random people up, give them powers id seen before(e.g. the different powers in D grayman, KHR etc) and you guys would fight.
it was soo cool as well!
you know in d gray, when lenalee fought the level 4 akuma at sea and lost her powers?
yea, that place was where i imagined you guys fighting.
everyone was so shoik urghh
sometimes there were group fights- and then there d be a healer(like miranda from dgray).
there were lenalee's power, kanda's, lavi's, yurippe's awesome fighting abilities, naoi's coolness, tenshi's powers, the kind of fighting involving the two gumi s in Mosaik Role, or the nice creepy aura emanating from the cast of kuroshitsuji, the air of the pro samurai fighters from hakuoki.
then id imagine you guys as anime characters in costume, and we d take pictures with that look.
there were those flying sakura petals, snowflakes and all, and some of us had pets. some were magical. sheila, you owned a green slime. i gave mdm kala and mdm kamala a dark axe stump each, and shelly a ribbon pig. zhengtian owned a lupin. mr siow was grendel the really old, and he lived in ellinia. chen xi had a jr boogie, and cher ting had those giant moss snails in the elrin forest thing.
i imagined myself living in ludibrium, cause i loved that place. if there was a ludibrium in real life.... can you imagine that? mrt, seet and mr yip lived in lith harbor. mr tham and mr hairul lived in kerning, cause he s creepy and cool in the same way that kerning is XD lao shi lived in orbis, cause she reminds me of orbis. ms sloan too. mr chin, mr chan and mr chew lived in ellinia, where they all became....
leafy.
i exchanged our personalities. lourdes and i didnt have much difference cause we re on very similar wavelengths. then i exchanged myself with jen min. i became freaking smart and TALL LOL. then i had alina's idc attitude. then i imagined myself as wing, with her boldness and everything.
the most epic was when i imagined denise and i exchanging our personalities.
i became that chaotic laughing hyena, while denise became the emo, think-too-much me who was labelled as quiet.
then i imagined some of you as bruno mars, dragging the piano along in the song Grenade. i imagined mr siow dragging the piano faster than all of us XD then i imagined the whole of C2 in a dragging piano race and it was hilariously dumb and i started smiling to myself LOL
i imagined more of you as pokemon trainers. i imagined alot of you with brock's - . - eyes LOL.
Paean had a shitload of pokeballs in her bag, which she used for juggling. Denise owned that weirdass pokemon which draws on your face when it sings you to sleep(is that jigglypuff??) Lourdes had pikachu, which i got pissed because if you watch/watched pokemon, pikachu is (i quote sheila) FARKING noisy like "pi-ka-chuu" ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
like sheila, the Noisy Pigeon haha in ur face.
then when i imagined us all in the maplestory worl-
you know i better not continue or this post will never be done =..=
but anyway,
ho yeah it was sooooo cool. beautiful. oh god. i cant describe it. but imagination can and really does take you to different dimensions. it takes you to places you cant go; it lets you become people you cant actually be in real life.
in your imagination,
it s your world.
i think too much?
these are some of the things i think of.
great, isnt it?
everyone i know has had some roles in my imagination before.
if that person appeared more on some day in real life, youd also appear more in my imagination.
sometimes it s those who appear less in rl that appear more in my imagination though.
depends.
and now that i cant go to school, i just have more time to
"think more".
maybe if you tried
if you know me well enough to some extent, you know i never say 'im bored'. but im surrounded by people who say they're bored bored bored oh so bored very often urggh i sometimes find it annoying because i really.dont.see.a.way.to.get.bored.
You just find a way to utilise the free time you have around you.
Sometimes it s good for thinking things through and sorting your thoughts-maybe you had an argument with someone earlier... You can try to think things in their perspective maybe? Because afterall, arguments and fights happen because both parties think they re correct. And no one can be always correct in their whole lives.
But yeah, pride is usually the thing that gets in our way. Pride makes it so hard just to apologise. And I mean apologise AND mean it.
okay, you can get angry at me for the above paragraph with all it s crap LOL that s just christal at work.
oh. i wanna thank mohmoh, alina, tessa, cher ting for dropping by my house to see me, and lourdes and priscilla for wanting to. tbh i dont like guests, but we all make exceptions. if you come, please do call first.
when alina, tessa and CT came i was still sleeping =..=and had to go out to see them with my hair all asdghjkl;
okay. that s all. was a long post, huh.
i have a joke for you guys, but i ll include it in some other post some other day :)
if youve read all the way til here, thanks for reading my bullshit xD
do experiment with your imagination.
yours sincerely,
an average teenager.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
my gran bought HL milk. the plain flavour, for me.
she forgot the HL plain ones made me vomit.
there s this.... eucky yucky ucky aftertaste.
bluergh.
usually id buy my own milk and choose the flavour. id get meiji, the coffee one.
if i felt like it, id go for HL chocolate.
-
i was forced to drink the milk anyway.
cant let the milk go to waste.
because if i dont drink it, no one in the house will.
aunt drinks tea 24/7,
mum is in the office til 4 a.m. nowadays, comes back and goes to work at 9a.m.
no time for milk.
gran is lactose-intolerant.
i stared at the milk carton.
the words 'HL' seemed to stare back at me as well; as if challenging me.
-
"DRINK ME AND I SHALL MAKE YOU VOMIT. BAHAHA!"
"Screw you HL. Im gonna drink you. Wait and see."
-
Indignant, I unscrewed the cap, ripped off the freshness seal(why does it sound like im raping somebody)
AND POURED THE MILK INTO THE MUG.
i glanced at the expiry on the carton: June 01.
June 01.
Greatt.
Ive to finish one litre of asshole cow liquid by then.
one.freaking.litre.
-
i tipped the milk carton upright again as I finished pouring.
i stared at the white liquid in the mug.
my reflection stared back at me.
"im gonna drink you."
the surface of the milk rippled, as if in response.
i pursed my lips.
"im gonna have to make you taste better first."
-
after a bit of brainstorming, i extracted a packet of powdered instant milo.
ripped the packet open, and emptied the powder into the HL milk.
-
i stirred it. stirred and stirred.
and in the end i got a diarrhoea-like substance.
the milo refused to dissolve fully,
and since the milk was quite a thick substance, it created the perfect diarrhoea lookalike.
-
i stared at my new creation.
Milo and HL stared back at me.
"Drink me, I dare you toooo~" they mocked, together.
"You and what army," I replied scornfully.
And so I lifted the mug up to my lips,
and drank.
-
ohmygawd.
it tastes good.
it actually tastes.good!
i finished it in less than five minutes.
im gonna do the same next time to finish the whole carton of cow liquid.
udder juice.
-
milk is talking to me.
and so is milo.
im going bonkers.
i need to return to school.
but i dont know when i can.
dont miss me.
and no, im sure,
you wont.
alexandria wont either.
-
-
-
btw lourdes, shiroi qiao says she knows me through you and i have absolutely no memory of how the hell that happened LOL
she forgot the HL plain ones made me vomit.
there s this.... eucky yucky ucky aftertaste.
bluergh.
usually id buy my own milk and choose the flavour. id get meiji, the coffee one.
if i felt like it, id go for HL chocolate.
-
i was forced to drink the milk anyway.
cant let the milk go to waste.
because if i dont drink it, no one in the house will.
aunt drinks tea 24/7,
mum is in the office til 4 a.m. nowadays, comes back and goes to work at 9a.m.
no time for milk.
gran is lactose-intolerant.
i stared at the milk carton.
the words 'HL' seemed to stare back at me as well; as if challenging me.
-
"DRINK ME AND I SHALL MAKE YOU VOMIT. BAHAHA!"
"Screw you HL. Im gonna drink you. Wait and see."
-
Indignant, I unscrewed the cap, ripped off the freshness seal(why does it sound like im raping somebody)
AND POURED THE MILK INTO THE MUG.
i glanced at the expiry on the carton: June 01.
June 01.
Greatt.
Ive to finish one litre of asshole cow liquid by then.
one.freaking.litre.
-
i tipped the milk carton upright again as I finished pouring.
i stared at the white liquid in the mug.
my reflection stared back at me.
"im gonna drink you."
the surface of the milk rippled, as if in response.
i pursed my lips.
"im gonna have to make you taste better first."
-
after a bit of brainstorming, i extracted a packet of powdered instant milo.
ripped the packet open, and emptied the powder into the HL milk.
-
i stirred it. stirred and stirred.
and in the end i got a diarrhoea-like substance.
the milo refused to dissolve fully,
and since the milk was quite a thick substance, it created the perfect diarrhoea lookalike.
-
i stared at my new creation.
Milo and HL stared back at me.
"Drink me, I dare you toooo~" they mocked, together.
"You and what army," I replied scornfully.
And so I lifted the mug up to my lips,
and drank.
-
ohmygawd.
it tastes good.
it actually tastes.good!
i finished it in less than five minutes.
im gonna do the same next time to finish the whole carton of cow liquid.
udder juice.
-
milk is talking to me.
and so is milo.
im going bonkers.
i need to return to school.
but i dont know when i can.
dont miss me.
and no, im sure,
you wont.
alexandria wont either.
-
-
-
btw lourdes, shiroi qiao says she knows me through you and i have absolutely no memory of how the hell that happened LOL
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Φ
i had another dream last night.
it was short, but IT WAS NICE.
slightly fantasy-ish, but not too much.
there were two girls and me.
i shall name the main girl Navy, cause i forgot her orig. name in the dream.
she was... slightly shorter than me i think... She wore... black(or was it brown) specs? She was quite an active person, if im not wrong.
there was Olive, Navy's supposedly good friend.
Olive had hair slightly longer than Navy's, and it was somewhat mouse-coloured. her skin was nice. slightly toned, maybe? i dont think Olive wore specs.
but deep down, secretly, Navy didnt like Olive.
i dont know why they still bothered talking to each other in the dream though.
it s like when i entered the dream i already had this knowledge that Navy secretly didnt like Olive.
here goes the actual scenario of the dream:
i was in the classroom, sitting down, doing my homework.
It was a free period, and the class was chaotic as usual.
Navy and Olive hovered in front of me, and they were talking. They never looked in my direction as they chatted, but my ears naturally picked up what they were saying as they were at such a close proximity.
"Michelle[LOL XIAOXIAOOOO] is a bitch. You know, i dont really care what she thinks now," Navy said, to Olive. She glanced in my direction.
I stiffened and my eyebrows furrowed together. Sudden energy pulsed within me.
i think the energy was... blue.
LOL. see, weird dreams.
okay. anyway.
I stood up and stalked forth, towards Navy and Olive.
They seemed slightly taken aback as I glared at them.
That was when I put one foot forth,
and slapped Navy.
SMACKK!!!!
the sound of skin against skin.
Olive's eyes widened and Navy's face twisted sideways from the impact.
There was silence as I looked Navy in the eye.
My hair drifted slightly from the wind as I kept my hands by my side.
But my gaze was unwavering. I didnt blink.
She had one hand on her cheek where I'd given her the slap.
I felt my own energy, coming from within me, overpowering Navy's and the curiousity of Olive's.
My strange, blue, emanating and pulsing energy.
"You deserved that," I finally said to Navy, breaking the silence.
I gave Olive a warning glance to stay out of the matter.
Time seemed to laspe.
"I know I'm that Michelle you talk about. Im not a fool," I continued, directing my words at Navy.
Her shoulders rose the slightest bit.
"So im a bitch to you, huh," my voice poured out silently strong, against the dead air. "Why dont we add asshole on top of that?."
I felt my energy again, pulsing out of me; an angry force I didnt expect.
But there was the slightest bit of hurt and pain.
OMGEEE SO COOL RIGHT XD
ive never slapped anyone in real life.
it was cool, yep.
and then i had this super awesome aura thing.
it s blue, too xD
when i woke up and thought about the part where i said, "im psychic,"
it felt kinda dumb LOL @_@
like... retarded.
psychic my foot =.=
probably some everyday influences/words i hear.
the scary thing was that Navy and Olive looked like two people I know in real life.
hmmm...
probably just my subconscious.
but why michelle LOL
my subconscious thinking of xiaoxiao issit xD
i thought of how she and i drifted apart and it brings back nostalgic memories.
urgh, me and my past =..= wont go into that.
those were the Zombie/pineapplecrunch days xD LOLOLLOL
but it would be soo cool if like, my dreams are prophecies or omens.
or maybe they inform me about things i should know about o:
it felt nice in my dream.
i felt special.
real life doesnt give me that feeling.
i just feel...
ugly.
yeah.
the usual.
no comforts please ;#
haha psychic.
issit the same as reading minds??
though id rather fly,
i wouldnt mind having some kind of special power.
oh great now i sound like Marvel comics LOL
but im just a normal girl.
yours sincerely,
an average teenager.
it was short, but IT WAS NICE.
slightly fantasy-ish, but not too much.
there were two girls and me.
i shall name the main girl Navy, cause i forgot her orig. name in the dream.
she was... slightly shorter than me i think... She wore... black(or was it brown) specs? She was quite an active person, if im not wrong.
there was Olive, Navy's supposedly good friend.
Olive had hair slightly longer than Navy's, and it was somewhat mouse-coloured. her skin was nice. slightly toned, maybe? i dont think Olive wore specs.
but deep down, secretly, Navy didnt like Olive.
i dont know why they still bothered talking to each other in the dream though.
it s like when i entered the dream i already had this knowledge that Navy secretly didnt like Olive.
here goes the actual scenario of the dream:
i was in the classroom, sitting down, doing my homework.
It was a free period, and the class was chaotic as usual.
Navy and Olive hovered in front of me, and they were talking. They never looked in my direction as they chatted, but my ears naturally picked up what they were saying as they were at such a close proximity.
"Michelle[LOL XIAOXIAOOOO] is a bitch. You know, i dont really care what she thinks now," Navy said, to Olive. She glanced in my direction.
I stiffened and my eyebrows furrowed together. Sudden energy pulsed within me.
i think the energy was... blue.
LOL. see, weird dreams.
okay. anyway.
I stood up and stalked forth, towards Navy and Olive.
They seemed slightly taken aback as I glared at them.
That was when I put one foot forth,
and slapped Navy.
SMACKK!!!!
the sound of skin against skin.
Olive's eyes widened and Navy's face twisted sideways from the impact.
There was silence as I looked Navy in the eye.
My hair drifted slightly from the wind as I kept my hands by my side.
But my gaze was unwavering. I didnt blink.
She had one hand on her cheek where I'd given her the slap.
I felt my own energy, coming from within me, overpowering Navy's and the curiousity of Olive's.
My strange, blue, emanating and pulsing energy.
"You deserved that," I finally said to Navy, breaking the silence.
I gave Olive a warning glance to stay out of the matter.
Time seemed to laspe.
"I know I'm that Michelle you talk about. Im not a fool," I continued, directing my words at Navy.
Her shoulders rose the slightest bit.
"So im a bitch to you, huh," my voice poured out silently strong, against the dead air. "Why dont we add asshole on top of that?."
I felt my energy again, pulsing out of me; an angry force I didnt expect.
But there was the slightest bit of hurt and pain.
Contained Blue.
Threatening to erupt.
Whirling electrons,
Power of the Sun.
One beat,
Two beats.
Da-dump,
Da-dump.
Swishhh.....
Blue wave,
blue splash,
blue glow.
Subside....
Threatening to erupt.
Whirling electrons,
Power of the Sun.
One beat,
Two beats.
Da-dump,
Da-dump.
Swishhh.....
Blue wave,
blue splash,
blue glow.
Subside....
"Michelle. Why that name?"
Navy was silent.
I tilted my head sideways in question before I spoke again.
"I just want you to know.
I'm psychic."
I smiled at Navy. Mocking smiles.
Dont-mess-with-me smiles.
I raked my hand through my hair, and with a glance over my shoulder, I add,
"Im not your average teenage girl."
And I walked out of class.
=THE END=
Navy was silent.
I tilted my head sideways in question before I spoke again.
"I just want you to know.
I'm psychic."
I smiled at Navy. Mocking smiles.
Dont-mess-with-me smiles.
I raked my hand through my hair, and with a glance over my shoulder, I add,
"Im not your average teenage girl."
And I walked out of class.
=THE END=
OMGEEE SO COOL RIGHT XD
ive never slapped anyone in real life.
it was cool, yep.
and then i had this super awesome aura thing.
it s blue, too xD
when i woke up and thought about the part where i said, "im psychic,"
it felt kinda dumb LOL @_@
like... retarded.
psychic my foot =.=
probably some everyday influences/words i hear.
the scary thing was that Navy and Olive looked like two people I know in real life.
hmmm...
probably just my subconscious.
but why michelle LOL
my subconscious thinking of xiaoxiao issit xD
i thought of how she and i drifted apart and it brings back nostalgic memories.
urgh, me and my past =..= wont go into that.
those were the Zombie/pineapplecrunch days xD LOLOLLOL
but it would be soo cool if like, my dreams are prophecies or omens.
or maybe they inform me about things i should know about o:
it felt nice in my dream.
i felt special.
real life doesnt give me that feeling.
i just feel...
ugly.
yeah.
the usual.
no comforts please ;#
haha psychic.
issit the same as reading minds??
though id rather fly,
i wouldnt mind having some kind of special power.
oh great now i sound like Marvel comics LOL
but im just a normal girl.
yours sincerely,
an average teenager.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
haha i shall just add in a short post about some nice/weird things i found on fb.
just some random shit.
oh, i was stalking my bro oso LOL.
havent seen him in a long time sighh.
hardcore towards the weather :/
bro's friend posted on bro's wall. i see they dam lame LOL.
fb reveals a side of my bro i seldom see -..=
my bro s the samuel shithead.
a photo of him and his friends at some convention. if youre bored go guess which of these doodheads is my bro. idk why he look so small size here =..=
this guy. i know him through cherry. apparently he s dam good at music and plays the clarinet.
but i like the sentence he came up with, it s awesome.
bro's friend shared this nyan cat thing with him LOL cfm to piss my bro off.
didnt expect to see such girly stuff on his wall but oh well.
-
hm. didnt get to stepmania at the end.
i feel like doing another vocaloid cover tmr but idk what song.
suggestionssss??
our fortia is nice.
just some random shit.
oh, i was stalking my bro oso LOL.
havent seen him in a long time sighh.
hardcore towards the weather :/
bro's friend posted on bro's wall. i see they dam lame LOL.
fb reveals a side of my bro i seldom see -..=
my bro s the samuel shithead.
a photo of him and his friends at some convention. if youre bored go guess which of these doodheads is my bro. idk why he look so small size here =..=
this guy. i know him through cherry. apparently he s dam good at music and plays the clarinet.
but i like the sentence he came up with, it s awesome.
bro's friend shared this nyan cat thing with him LOL cfm to piss my bro off.
didnt expect to see such girly stuff on his wall but oh well.
-
hm. didnt get to stepmania at the end.
i feel like doing another vocaloid cover tmr but idk what song.
suggestionssss??
our fortia is nice.
it's my life and i can do what i want with it.
hmm... okay. lourdeh asked me for help on this compo topic. it s for her tuition...
im just gonna write it as if it popped out of my head like any other emo post i have okay?
YOU BLAST MR CHIN'S FACE YOU ANOTHER CHIN XD
Really?
Well. Im just gonna tell you right here, right now,
that that is completely
im just gonna write it as if it popped out of my head like any other emo post i have okay?
YOU BLAST MR CHIN'S FACE YOU ANOTHER CHIN XD
its my life and i can do what i want with it.
Really?
Well. Im just gonna tell you right here, right now,
that that is completely
bullshit.
It s like telling someone you believe in purple oranges and pink potatoes.
It s time to end the delusional illusions.
It s time to end the delusional illusions.
My life?
Sure. I do have a life. I wont deny that.
But to have a life doesnt necessarily mean it s yours.
It was supposed to be MY life.
But what happened to MY life?
It got taken over by invaders.
Sure. I do have a life. I wont deny that.
But to have a life doesnt necessarily mean it s yours.
It was supposed to be MY life.
But what happened to MY life?
It got taken over by invaders.
And no, I dont mean the Japanese during the World War 2.
Or Mojojojo from the Powerpuff Girls.
Or Mojojojo from the Powerpuff Girls.
Im talking about the greatest controller and life invader of all time.
Who s that, you ask.
You wanna know? Okay.
Who s that, you ask.
You wanna know? Okay.
My mom.
She s the greatest enemy in my life.
My stumbling block.
The plug to all my great ideas.
The human full stop to my imagination and creativity.
The annoying nagging machine that works like a heart,
24/7,
without getting tired.
I hear her annoying words all the time.
"Lourdes, wear your socks."
My stumbling block.
The plug to all my great ideas.
The human full stop to my imagination and creativity.
The annoying nagging machine that works like a heart,
24/7,
without getting tired.
I hear her annoying words all the time.
"Lourdes, wear your socks."
"Lourdes, eat your dinner. NOW."
"Lourdes, remember to pack your books for tomorrow."
"Lourdes, have you done your revision for the exams?"
"Lourdes, you cant go out today."
"Lourdes, stay away from the stray cats downstairs."
"Lourdes, get back here rightaway."
"Lourdes, make sure you finish your veggies."
"Lourdes, remember to lock the door when you leave the house."
[eh if you need more "Lourdes, -do something-" tell me hor, i can provide sommore xD]
You remember that dont you?
When you were young, your mother was just like a giant shield made of flesh and blood(plus hair), blocking you in all directions.
Oh! Eureka! I got an idea!
Electrons start to fly.
You get jumpy
as the ideas spill from your head like a fizzy volcano of coke.
But just as you rocket skywards with your awesome ideas,
WHAM!
You hit the darn shield.
Mom says to get down.
But she wouldnt have known!
maybe the idea couldve turned you into the next einstein!
Minus the fizzy hair he had.
Everything you do is wrong.
What is she and who is she to be able to hinder you like that, you ask.
But times change.
We all grow old.
Just like you, who s reading this.
One day,
[eh if you need more "Lourdes, -do something-" tell me hor, i can provide sommore xD]
You remember that dont you?
When you were young, your mother was just like a giant shield made of flesh and blood(plus hair), blocking you in all directions.
Oh! Eureka! I got an idea!
Electrons start to fly.
You get jumpy
as the ideas spill from your head like a fizzy volcano of coke.
But just as you rocket skywards with your awesome ideas,
WHAM!
You hit the darn shield.
Mom says to get down.
But she wouldnt have known!
maybe the idea couldve turned you into the next einstein!
Minus the fizzy hair he had.
Everything you do is wrong.
What is she and who is she to be able to hinder you like that, you ask.
But times change.
We all grow old.
Just like you, who s reading this.
One day,
We ll all be able to break free from those clutches.
Away, far, far away from the mother's nest.
Mom, Im old enough already.
I can protect myself.
Stop treating me like a child.
Cause im not; and im gonna show you.
You be good, sit at home,
and wait for money.
Im gonna work hard and bring it back for you to see.
Im finally old and mature enough to understand that it is actually
my life,
and i can do what i want with it.
And, im also old enough to tell you
that it
IS
my life.
And I CAN do what I want with it.
You have no say.
I didnt intrude in your life D:
So you keep your life.
And give me mine.
And stay out of it, you nosey parker.
Blegh.
-THE END-
LOL
strange topic sia. i dont think this would help out very much in your compo though.
it lacks depth =..=
mr chin seems like the kind to expect cheem things.
cheem chin!
but then again, if the rest of the class also write until like sai liddat then dont care lo xD
okay.
i have eyes.
IT S TIME TO STEPPUMANIA!
awesome game.
trains meh finger muscles xD
BUFF FINGAHS!
Mom, Im old enough already.
I can protect myself.
Stop treating me like a child.
Cause im not; and im gonna show you.
You be good, sit at home,
and wait for money.
Im gonna work hard and bring it back for you to see.
Im finally old and mature enough to understand that it is actually
my life,
and i can do what i want with it.
And, im also old enough to tell you
that it
IS
my life.
And I CAN do what I want with it.
You have no say.
I didnt intrude in your life D:
So you keep your life.
And give me mine.
And stay out of it, you nosey parker.
Blegh.
-THE END-
LOL
strange topic sia. i dont think this would help out very much in your compo though.
it lacks depth =..=
mr chin seems like the kind to expect cheem things.
cheem chin!
but then again, if the rest of the class also write until like sai liddat then dont care lo xD
okay.
i have eyes.
IT S TIME TO STEPPUMANIA!
awesome game.
trains meh finger muscles xD
BUFF FINGAHS!
fail cover!
uh. well.
i did this cover of Sleeping Beauty by Miku today. It s very fail(as usual lol). oh well.
enjoy my horrendous singing ;)
idk how some parts turned out harmonised.
hmm probably a stroke of luck.
the choruses were a killer once again.
and im not good at rock songs o:
okay, this shall be my post for today.
i did this cover of Sleeping Beauty by Miku today. It s very fail(as usual lol). oh well.
enjoy my horrendous singing ;)
idk how some parts turned out harmonised.
hmm probably a stroke of luck.
the choruses were a killer once again.
and im not good at rock songs o:
okay, this shall be my post for today.
Monday, May 9, 2011
my hope flies up in a circle.
round, round, up over your head.
im thinking of you right now.
you must be sleeping.
do you see me in your dreams?
i wont be seeing you soon.
but i wonder how you are.
i wish to know what happened
but splish,
splosh.
you are that far.
you detest me anyway.
but i read
and i see
i have eyes.
i still have eyes.
two seconds down.
wham.
i still have eyes,
i notice you like to follow my style.
i still have eyes.
here in my heart, i hope youre okay.
ive read.
and im glad to know how you feel.
thank you.
=-whyd you spill that much milk?-=
it s not because i dont want to get it back.
it s because i think you dont.
do you?
and how will we start on it anyway?
read til here.
full stop.
bam.
i still have eyes.
thank you.
and...
i still have eyes.
thank you.
i ll close my eyes til tomorrow.
round, round, up over your head.
im thinking of you right now.
you must be sleeping.
do you see me in your dreams?
i wont be seeing you soon.
but i wonder how you are.
i wish to know what happened
but splish,
splosh.
you are that far.
you detest me anyway.
but i read
and i see
i have eyes.
i still have eyes.
two seconds down.
wham.
i still have eyes,
i notice you like to follow my style.
i still have eyes.
here in my heart, i hope youre okay.
ive read.
and im glad to know how you feel.
thank you.
=-whyd you spill that much milk?-=
it s not because i dont want to get it back.
it s because i think you dont.
do you?
and how will we start on it anyway?
read til here.
full stop.
bam.
i still have eyes.
thank you.
and...
i still have eyes.
thank you.
i ll close my eyes til tomorrow.
☯ picture post!!! ☯
hmm... i kinda decided that this would be more of a picture post.
it s exam time and i dont wanna stress out those who read my blog with more of my compositions o:
but it s gonna get quite random.
btw, here s hoping you guys all the best for this week!
im gon' try ta post everyday.
{going back home from tuition with priscillaa on a rainy saturday}
i like the the smell of the air after it rains, as well as the way the streets are slick from the downpour. The way the light shines off the water has a stunning effect~
{Club Penguin AHAH. A member's igloo, 2 years back}
no, im not embarrassed to post this photo xD. i thought this igloo had a nice close-to-nature feel to it LOL so i guess i took a shot of it o;
the photos are quite bad in quality. sorreh :/ these were taken back when i had that 2 mgpx sony ericsson phone.
[CHIJ Toa Payoh arts elective programme students' works [incomplete piece]}
DAM AWESOME RIGHT. I was awed when I first saw their works. Still I wonder how life wouldve been if i'd accepted the DSA offer there. Kinda stupid, i wasted my time going through all those interviews and drawing tests and i came to crescent instead lol.
{more of their works under the theme '7 Sins'}
i had all 7 of them, as in photos, but idk where the shit they went =.=
the colours were really vibrant in real life. i remember lol. it s actually spray paint, not done by colour pencils as it seems here...
and uh, i wasnt supposed to take photos of their works LOL IM SORRY
{Sloth}
done in black and white. the details were stunning.... sigh.
{Gluttony}
i didnt really like this one due to all the ball like things she was wrapped in but oh well. i remember the Lust one was nice.
{Stray neko at Lourdes' block}
idk if this is Haine but this little shithead refused to stay still to lemme take picture of em so i got this alienated photo instead =..=
-no longer a pict. post from here hor
my leg s still too weak. i feel like an arse, sitting around all day in the rollerchair, which my aunt specially took back from her office so that I could move ard the house with more ease.
when i need to go to the kitchen i stand up and support all my body weight on a black four legged chair with my arms. I move the chair forward with my hands and using my arms as a support, i lean forward and drag my legs behind.
it s really tiring, but i ll get by.
i sit around all day and cant do a shit.
so when you cant do a shit, what do you do?
think.
and it s not as if i havent been thinking enough already lol.
idk why the docs didnt give me crutches.
pris got them when she also tore the knee ligament of her left leg last time sigh.
oh well.
i sleep on my granma's bed now.
there s no way i can get to my mattress on the floor.
ive had alot of dreams since. it s quite cool, since i seldom have dreams.
maybe it s the change in location that s giving me the dreams.
so far, only one's on the more realistic side, and it involves a cat in my house.
the rest are all on the fantasy side.
and everytime i wake from them, i replay them in my head non stop so that i dont forget.
maybe i ll type it out. maybe not.
it involves many characters, out of only 2 whom i recognise.
my manga senior Avalyn from one of the fantasy dreams, and me.
there was a girl name Rouxxia and her friend, whose name i didnt get.
Rouxxia had nice hair LOL. it was below her ears and spiky at the ends.
i remember her wearing skull earrings. her hair was the colour of flames, and her eyes dull amber. i thought she was kinda rougue-ish.
there was a strange dispute between Avalyn, Rouxxia and me. Rouxxia's friend stood by and watched.
Somewhere in between Avalyn turned into petals and the petals started going after Rouxxia, and it was cause of me, over a stupid reason. so i started running and Rouxxia chased after me, with Avalyn on her heels-
i better not continue LOL or this will get very long.
hmm...
there was another girl named Flower, whose voice i was somehow strongly drawn to.
I never saw Flower in my dreams. I only heard her voice when her door opened while i was travelling through that....glowing blue tunnel like thing downwards to the main hall where I met Avalyn and Rouxxia.
it was a cool dream.
when id managed to get away from Rouxxia and Avalyn(that is a long story itself LOL) there was a showoff between me and some other short-haired girl in a knee-length white dress with small wings. The showoff took place on top of a moving vintage-ey train. it was snowing hard and somehow i was clawing at the top of the train with fire at my fingertips when she flew in, grabbed me by the shoulders and got me to stop.
we kinda argued, on the brink of fighting, when i shouted something like
"WE WERE FRIENDS FIRST. THEN HE CAME ALONG. AND YOU CHOSE. IT ONLY SHOWED THAT YOU VALUED HIM OVER OUR FRIENDSHIP. THATS ALL THERE IS TO IT."
then i launched myself off the train, falling, falling.... into this vast white sea.
i dont know what happened next, but i dont think i died.
i swear all these dreams took place. it was spectacular. away from stupid reality. cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die.
☂
it s exam time and i dont wanna stress out those who read my blog with more of my compositions o:
but it s gonna get quite random.
btw, here s hoping you guys all the best for this week!
im gon' try ta post everyday.
{going back home from tuition with priscillaa on a rainy saturday}
i like the the smell of the air after it rains, as well as the way the streets are slick from the downpour. The way the light shines off the water has a stunning effect~
{Club Penguin AHAH. A member's igloo, 2 years back}
no, im not embarrassed to post this photo xD. i thought this igloo had a nice close-to-nature feel to it LOL so i guess i took a shot of it o;
the photos are quite bad in quality. sorreh :/ these were taken back when i had that 2 mgpx sony ericsson phone.
[CHIJ Toa Payoh arts elective programme students' works [incomplete piece]}
DAM AWESOME RIGHT. I was awed when I first saw their works. Still I wonder how life wouldve been if i'd accepted the DSA offer there. Kinda stupid, i wasted my time going through all those interviews and drawing tests and i came to crescent instead lol.
{more of their works under the theme '7 Sins'}
i had all 7 of them, as in photos, but idk where the shit they went =.=
the colours were really vibrant in real life. i remember lol. it s actually spray paint, not done by colour pencils as it seems here...
and uh, i wasnt supposed to take photos of their works LOL IM SORRY
{Sloth}
done in black and white. the details were stunning.... sigh.
{Gluttony}
i didnt really like this one due to all the ball like things she was wrapped in but oh well. i remember the Lust one was nice.
{Stray neko at Lourdes' block}
idk if this is Haine but this little shithead refused to stay still to lemme take picture of em so i got this alienated photo instead =..=
-no longer a pict. post from here hor
my leg s still too weak. i feel like an arse, sitting around all day in the rollerchair, which my aunt specially took back from her office so that I could move ard the house with more ease.
when i need to go to the kitchen i stand up and support all my body weight on a black four legged chair with my arms. I move the chair forward with my hands and using my arms as a support, i lean forward and drag my legs behind.
it s really tiring, but i ll get by.
i sit around all day and cant do a shit.
so when you cant do a shit, what do you do?
think.
and it s not as if i havent been thinking enough already lol.
idk why the docs didnt give me crutches.
pris got them when she also tore the knee ligament of her left leg last time sigh.
oh well.
i sleep on my granma's bed now.
there s no way i can get to my mattress on the floor.
ive had alot of dreams since. it s quite cool, since i seldom have dreams.
maybe it s the change in location that s giving me the dreams.
so far, only one's on the more realistic side, and it involves a cat in my house.
the rest are all on the fantasy side.
and everytime i wake from them, i replay them in my head non stop so that i dont forget.
maybe i ll type it out. maybe not.
it involves many characters, out of only 2 whom i recognise.
my manga senior Avalyn from one of the fantasy dreams, and me.
there was a girl name Rouxxia and her friend, whose name i didnt get.
Rouxxia had nice hair LOL. it was below her ears and spiky at the ends.
i remember her wearing skull earrings. her hair was the colour of flames, and her eyes dull amber. i thought she was kinda rougue-ish.
there was a strange dispute between Avalyn, Rouxxia and me. Rouxxia's friend stood by and watched.
Somewhere in between Avalyn turned into petals and the petals started going after Rouxxia, and it was cause of me, over a stupid reason. so i started running and Rouxxia chased after me, with Avalyn on her heels-
i better not continue LOL or this will get very long.
hmm...
there was another girl named Flower, whose voice i was somehow strongly drawn to.
I never saw Flower in my dreams. I only heard her voice when her door opened while i was travelling through that....glowing blue tunnel like thing downwards to the main hall where I met Avalyn and Rouxxia.
it was a cool dream.
when id managed to get away from Rouxxia and Avalyn(that is a long story itself LOL) there was a showoff between me and some other short-haired girl in a knee-length white dress with small wings. The showoff took place on top of a moving vintage-ey train. it was snowing hard and somehow i was clawing at the top of the train with fire at my fingertips when she flew in, grabbed me by the shoulders and got me to stop.
we kinda argued, on the brink of fighting, when i shouted something like
"WE WERE FRIENDS FIRST. THEN HE CAME ALONG. AND YOU CHOSE. IT ONLY SHOWED THAT YOU VALUED HIM OVER OUR FRIENDSHIP. THATS ALL THERE IS TO IT."
then i launched myself off the train, falling, falling.... into this vast white sea.
i dont know what happened next, but i dont think i died.
i swear all these dreams took place. it was spectacular. away from stupid reality. cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die.
☂
wonder what dreams i ll have tonight?
Saturday, May 7, 2011
friday was a long day.
11pm at night, i was sent to the hospital.
whenever i opened my eyes, all i saw were my 2 aunts.
my mind was in a mess.
why my aunts?
where was my mum?
my left leg had gone numb.
in the dark, at the backseat, i let my tears flow freely.
i had forgotten.
i dont really have a mum.
i dont have a dad.
they are the cause of everything.
my brother asked my mum how old i was a few weeks back.
my own brother.
he thought i couldnt hear him.
but i could.
he forgot my age.
thats how far apart we are.
i wished he was there beside me in the car.
i love him. and i miss him.
i was going to the hospital, and i was scared.
if only he was there by my side,
i wouldve had more courage.
how long more do i have to fight for my happiness?
im tired of wiping my tears.
upon arrival at the A&E, the nurse dumped me in a wheelchair.
my hair was in a mess,
my eyes were dry and bloodshot.
i sat awkwardly in the thing.
wheelchair.
i felt old. helpless.
the doctor was a friendly and cheery guy.
he spoke good english.
i busied myself trying to crack his vocab.
after the 'consultation', i was told to get an x ray.
my left leg had swelled up
my head throbbed dully.
i gave up trying and dozed off instead.
my aunt prodded me awake when it was time for the x ray.
it took me 5 mins just to get off the wheelchair,
another 10 mins to turn into the correct position on the x ray platform,
another 5 mins to get off the platform,
another 5 mins to get my ass on the wheelchair.
another 5 to wear my shoes.
i finally understand how it really feels like to be disabled.
back at the consultation room, the doctor arranged an appointment for me to see the orthopedist.
" you tore your ligament. it s usually an injury footballers get."
"wow," i said, sarcastically. "footballers."
haha. who am i?
christal.
what do i do?
sit around 24/7 and manage to get an injury footballers usually get.
dear god, why do you make me awesome that way?
"so..." he typed at his computer. "you ll need a PMC for school.. i ll issu-"
" dont need that." i cut in. " i already have one."
he looked at me closely through his glasses.
my legs were full of scars from falling down, a recent scar still pinkish from falling down while going for SYF.
" are you a sportsman? or netballer? footballer?"
im no baller.
i stared at him and laughed bitterly. "no, im in art club. i sit around and manage to get injured more than the sports people in my school."
he pursed his lips, typed forawhile more and started talking to my aunts about the General Elections.
wtf.
but i was glad to be left out of the convo.
i wanted to be alone more than anything at that time.
thing was, i couldnt even walk anywhere by myself to be alone.
christal has been disabled.
"well, it wont heal anytime soon," the doctor told me. " and you will have a 'lose knee' from now on."
that s nice.
"gotta be really careful," he continued.
"is there any food good for ligament recovery?"
"frog legs."
that s nice. " um, forget it."
the doc and my aunts started talking about frog legs. i caught the words 'chinatown', 'expensive', 'kill frogs live', 'horrible', 'good for you'.
the rest of their conversation was like a fuzzy radio frequency for me.
---
im too tired to type more lol.
but im just worried about how on earth im gonna get to school on tuesday.
moving around at home is really tiring already.
i cant get anything myself- im forced to treat my aunt and grandma like servants to help me get stuff.
"grandma, lights please. thanks."
"aunt c, may i have a glass of water? thanks."
"grandma, phone."
"grandma, book."
"aunt, clothes."
"grandma, bag."
i feel dam bad.
going to the toilet is a harrowing and exhausting process. so is showering. the weight of my whole body goes on my right leg, so you could say that im one legged right now.
and im very sure this will affect my exams.
i cant concentrate on my studies.
but nevermind.
god likes to challenge me alot.
maybe it s cause i dont go to church.
i admit that i am a screwed up christian.
im sorry.
but can you come to me in a dream
show me a sign
and tell me
when is the day where i ll finally get true happiness?
i deserve it, right?
everyone does.
im just waiting to feel it.
-
the last person to make me laugh was mr seet.
lol out of all people
i had to look for him in the afternoon, and he was blur and dumb- in an adorable way.
i remember him calling my name thrice from the third floor while i was going downstairs.
the way he said my name out loud reminded me of mr tan.
three times, in a somewhat song-like way.
i got goosebumps.
but the seet keeps thanking me.
"thanks, christal."
"thanks, christal, youve been a big help."
"really, thanks, christal."
"thanks alot, christal."
"thanks christal. youve been a great help."
sian. annoying. why do i meet so many people who either thank me too much or apologise to me too much?
huhzxc.
okay. i ended on a positive note.
time to sleep.
11pm at night, i was sent to the hospital.
whenever i opened my eyes, all i saw were my 2 aunts.
my mind was in a mess.
why my aunts?
where was my mum?
my left leg had gone numb.
in the dark, at the backseat, i let my tears flow freely.
i had forgotten.
i dont really have a mum.
i dont have a dad.
they are the cause of everything.
my brother asked my mum how old i was a few weeks back.
my own brother.
he thought i couldnt hear him.
but i could.
he forgot my age.
thats how far apart we are.
i wished he was there beside me in the car.
i love him. and i miss him.
i was going to the hospital, and i was scared.
if only he was there by my side,
i wouldve had more courage.
how long more do i have to fight for my happiness?
im tired of wiping my tears.
upon arrival at the A&E, the nurse dumped me in a wheelchair.
my hair was in a mess,
my eyes were dry and bloodshot.
i sat awkwardly in the thing.
wheelchair.
i felt old. helpless.
the doctor was a friendly and cheery guy.
he spoke good english.
i busied myself trying to crack his vocab.
after the 'consultation', i was told to get an x ray.
they wheeled me past the exact same place where i had seen msg last year.
i thought of OM
and tried thinking of happier things.
but all my mind could pick out was negative shit.
my left leg had swelled up
my head throbbed dully.
i gave up trying and dozed off instead.
my aunt prodded me awake when it was time for the x ray.
it took me 5 mins just to get off the wheelchair,
another 10 mins to turn into the correct position on the x ray platform,
another 5 mins to get off the platform,
another 5 mins to get my ass on the wheelchair.
another 5 to wear my shoes.
i finally understand how it really feels like to be disabled.
back at the consultation room, the doctor arranged an appointment for me to see the orthopedist.
" you tore your ligament. it s usually an injury footballers get."
"wow," i said, sarcastically. "footballers."
haha. who am i?
christal.
what do i do?
sit around 24/7 and manage to get an injury footballers usually get.
dear god, why do you make me awesome that way?
"so..." he typed at his computer. "you ll need a PMC for school.. i ll issu-"
" dont need that." i cut in. " i already have one."
he looked at me closely through his glasses.
my legs were full of scars from falling down, a recent scar still pinkish from falling down while going for SYF.
" are you a sportsman? or netballer? footballer?"
im no baller.
i stared at him and laughed bitterly. "no, im in art club. i sit around and manage to get injured more than the sports people in my school."
he pursed his lips, typed forawhile more and started talking to my aunts about the General Elections.
wtf.
but i was glad to be left out of the convo.
i wanted to be alone more than anything at that time.
thing was, i couldnt even walk anywhere by myself to be alone.
christal has been disabled.
"well, it wont heal anytime soon," the doctor told me. " and you will have a 'lose knee' from now on."
that s nice.
"gotta be really careful," he continued.
"is there any food good for ligament recovery?"
"frog legs."
that s nice. " um, forget it."
the doc and my aunts started talking about frog legs. i caught the words 'chinatown', 'expensive', 'kill frogs live', 'horrible', 'good for you'.
the rest of their conversation was like a fuzzy radio frequency for me.
---
im too tired to type more lol.
but im just worried about how on earth im gonna get to school on tuesday.
moving around at home is really tiring already.
i cant get anything myself- im forced to treat my aunt and grandma like servants to help me get stuff.
"grandma, lights please. thanks."
"aunt c, may i have a glass of water? thanks."
"grandma, phone."
"grandma, book."
"aunt, clothes."
"grandma, bag."
i feel dam bad.
going to the toilet is a harrowing and exhausting process. so is showering. the weight of my whole body goes on my right leg, so you could say that im one legged right now.
and im very sure this will affect my exams.
i cant concentrate on my studies.
but nevermind.
god likes to challenge me alot.
maybe it s cause i dont go to church.
i admit that i am a screwed up christian.
im sorry.
but can you come to me in a dream
show me a sign
and tell me
when is the day where i ll finally get true happiness?
i deserve it, right?
everyone does.
im just waiting to feel it.
-
the last person to make me laugh was mr seet.
lol out of all people
i had to look for him in the afternoon, and he was blur and dumb- in an adorable way.
i remember him calling my name thrice from the third floor while i was going downstairs.
the way he said my name out loud reminded me of mr tan.
three times, in a somewhat song-like way.
i got goosebumps.
but the seet keeps thanking me.
"thanks, christal."
"thanks, christal, youve been a big help."
"really, thanks, christal."
"thanks alot, christal."
"thanks christal. youve been a great help."
sian. annoying. why do i meet so many people who either thank me too much or apologise to me too much?
huhzxc.
okay. i ended on a positive note.
time to sleep.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
mai god.
i need to talk about lighthearted things right now.
exam stress. dam.
-
haha xiao yu youre like confirming my old suspicions.
no pris, or zt(if somehow youre reading this)
i do not like him
and stop teasing me about him on msn =..=
though pris i know it s the only time where you can team up with zt to go against me ♥
moh moh you junichiro dont xtra LOL.
was dam paisei when i saw this and i did the cough-laugh thing.
and like WTF WTF WTF
lourdes, please do not tease me too xD
but if xiao yu can really look past how i look.... on the outside
you know what i mean
id really like to thank him.
it s nice to know that someone likes the way i smile.
i can smile more for you.
haha.
and thanks for treating me so well.
i remember very clearly when id meow and then you ll pat my head lol
then id smack your hand when you try to chin-tickle me =..=
unfortunately hand smacking doesnt stop paean from doing that.
it s a bit wrong cause she s female
but for the sicko she is, i ll accept it xD
-
okay.
i feel funny.
cause ittttttttttttttttttt came =..=
-
sarah chan revealed to me today that she stalked me last year.
i was creeped out.
and i found out that you have a bf too like isabelle g. and his name is also Marcody XD
yeah, comon, kill me for this when you see it.
tomoe will protect me~
haha.
ahah.
yayy.
im wondering if i should remove my tagboard.
i blog, but i have developed a fear for reading tagboards.
im wondering what s on there right now, but i havent read it in a long while
so tiring.
need to sleep.
exam stress. dam.
-
haha xiao yu youre like confirming my old suspicions.
no pris, or zt(if somehow youre reading this)
i do not like him
and stop teasing me about him on msn =..=
though pris i know it s the only time where you can team up with zt to go against me ♥
moh moh you junichiro dont xtra LOL.was dam paisei when i saw this and i did the cough-laugh thing.
and like WTF WTF WTF
lourdes, please do not tease me too xD
but if xiao yu can really look past how i look.... on the outside
you know what i mean
id really like to thank him.
it s nice to know that someone likes the way i smile.
i can smile more for you.
haha.
and thanks for treating me so well.
i remember very clearly when id meow and then you ll pat my head lol
then id smack your hand when you try to chin-tickle me =..=
unfortunately hand smacking doesnt stop paean from doing that.
it s a bit wrong cause she s female
but for the sicko she is, i ll accept it xD
-
okay.
i feel funny.
cause ittttttttttttttttttt came =..=
-
sarah chan revealed to me today that she stalked me last year.
i was creeped out.
and i found out that you have a bf too like isabelle g. and his name is also Marcody XD
yeah, comon, kill me for this when you see it.
tomoe will protect me~
haha.
ahah.
yayy.
im wondering if i should remove my tagboard.
i blog, but i have developed a fear for reading tagboards.
im wondering what s on there right now, but i havent read it in a long while
so tiring.
need to sleep.
Monday, May 2, 2011
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